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In times where life can seem rough, I think back to what to be grateful for. I was lucky enough to have parents that weren’t all bad, even with some serious fights that took time to heal. I was the middle of three, so had someone to be with. And when everything else seemed bad, I had my best friend Caleb.

Recalling all this makes me remember that he rarely let me down. We shared our first drink together when taking some from his dad’s liquor cabinet. Spent summers together from sun up to well after it had gone down. The first… significant piece of how I wanted everyone to be. Close, warm and… an overall beautiful experience.

As we got older, it was known how close we were. What neither of us expected was to come out to each other. With that information… he was my first time too. Not because we thought no one would like us. Quite the opposite was true. Both of us had guys that wanted to date us. Though in a way I can’t explain, my heart called out to him and he answered with full force. Clumsiness and all, that night never left me.

Believe it or not, I think fondly on that night. I still get hard remembering. Over the past years, we grew up and saw less of each other. I ended up finding someone, settling down, but eventually got divorced. Despite being far apart, we kept in touch and comforted one another through the tough days. Though we could never seem to meet up.

Imagine my shock seeing him at the bar as I sat at the counter. The second our eyes connected, my heart swelled and the smile appeared. How his eyes glittered seeing me told me that I was the first person on his mind. We didn’t know how to speak but once he got close enough, the hug we shared was like home. Every part of my body had butterflies as he lifted me slightly off the ground. Putting me down, we sat together and I bought him a drink.

“Never thought to see you around here Caleb.” I said as a half joke. We were both clearly nervous.

“Well, I finally plucked up the time to do so.” He smiled, hands fumbling slightly with his glass. “Been too long since I’ve seen you Josh…”

“I know. Can’t tell you how good it feels.”

“So how are things? Been taking care of yourself?”

“Doing my best since the split. Been over a year and I’m still not used to living in an apartment.”

“I can’t imagine. Living in an apartment is definitely weird once you’ve lived in a house. And I build them for a living.”

“Right. How is the business going?”

“Growing faster than expected. But we’re handling the volume of work. Proud to say I’ve had help and an excellent designer.” He winked.

I had designed some houses for him and he teases on how I have made him a lot of money. But the warmth in his voice says he appreciates it. Nursing our drinks, the butterflies were still there. Something in me said to hold his hand or just lean on him. As if reading my mind, Caleb moved his stool closer and put an arm around me. We were in a corner of the bar with little view for others.

With comfortable awkwardness, I leaned onto his arm. We were both rather tall and built, though Caleb had me beat in terms of mass or strength. It fit in well with his work. Turning to look at him, our eyes met again, the butterflies started to leave my stomach and go everywhere.

“You never stopped looking all cute with that look on your face Josh.” He smirked, free hand gently touching my cheek.

“Says the silver bearded man.” I teased as my fingers brushed against his beard. “Never thought I would see you with silver hair.”

“Best get used to it then.”

That awkward comfort came again. I’ve felt it since we were boys… And he did too. Swallowing a lump in my throat, his lips over mine made me pause. Though once the world stopped pausing, I couldn’t help pulling Caleb to me. He tasted like cinnamon and beer… and I could somehow taste the sensual tone of how he moved toward me. The kiss may have been short but that made me crave more.

No one had seen us but the thrill of what happened made me paranoid. We laughed it off and stood close, relaxed as we sat there in our little corner.

“Did you come all this way to kiss me?”

“I might have… Seeing as my first love was in the bar I walked into. And I wanted to show him how much I was missing him.”

“Aww you big cheese. Such a burly man getting sentimental.”

“You know damn well I can be sentimental and rough. In more ways than one.”

Those last words made my skin burn and lick my lips. Looking in his eyes now, they were hungry… and my heart fluttered. We had been starving for each other again for a long time. Had separate lives but stuck together. I hadn’t trusted another man since my ex husband and my heart called out to Caleb more than ever.

“Caleb?”

“Yeah Josh?”

“Do you ever miss… what we were before?”

He sighed, our lips barely grazing as he whispered to me. “All the time. I feel guilty for kaçak iddaa not having come sooner. Not for selfish reasons but as your friend.”

“We had our lives you idiot. Having responsibilities means we can’t drop everything to see each other.”

“Even if we really want to.” He chuckled.

“Exactly. And you’re here now… Which matters a lot to me.”

“I want to be here more. If you want me to.”

“What do you mean?”

I looked over at him, a caring look as we caught eyes. “Maybe… this doesn’t have to be left in the air anymore.”

“Caleb…”

“No. Let me say this. I might have been hesitant to ask when we were in college. But I wanted to try being more than friends. After we popped our cherries, I… god why is this harder to explain now? We bonded… Both of us knew that. How we ignored what really did happen killed me over the years.”

—

I could tell he was going through a lot of emotions. To be honest, I was too. Admitting you fell in love with the first man you ever slept with… your best friend… wanting everything, it seemed scary and silly to us. We had talked about it then and decided that staying friends was for the best. In truth, I wished I had shown him or asked to hang out one last time. Then, we might have stood together.

Though as we sat there, his arm around me and holding hands, the world felt better. Not wanting to drink anymore, Caleb suggested going to our favorite hangout during late nights. An old hole in the wall diner with two dollar eggs and bacon. We were the only two there except a cook. Fine by us as we sat in a corner booth. The butterflies were traveling again and Caleb saw them somehow.

“What’s that look?”

“You just… seem to glow Josh. I can’t explain it.”

“Want to see it closer?”

The words came out of my mouth faster than I could think. Caleb was quiet while thinking of what to do. Though as his hand touched my thigh, our eyes stared back at each other as I did the same to him.

“You don’t have to now… Not unless you want to…”

“Pretty sure I waited long enough Josh.”

Checking that the cook was occupied, my fingers brushed against the bulge in his black jeans… while he did the same to my fitted pants. Moving closer, Caleb held the back of my head and we kissed softly, hands rubbing and enjoying the tease. Shy like teenagers… but older. Pulling away, I looked shyly up at him, how his eyes saw me causing me to blush.

“You feel nice…”

“So do you…”

“Can I ask you to stay?”

“On one condition.”

I felt nervous, wondering what the catch was.

“That I’m not just your best friend this time… Not for long anyways.”

He blushed while saying this. I felt my face hot as well, though the kiss I left on his neck assured him that I liked the idea.

“I would be more than happy to have some company in my modest apartment.”

“Heh. You were always modest and handsome.”

“Look who’s talking.”

We shifted around slightly, my head on his chest and shoulder as the cook came with our orders and Caleb handed him ten dollars for his trouble. We ate the light meal with eyes on each other almost, hands squeezing at the other’s leg or arm. Both of our faces were flushed but able to hold together until we said good night to the cook and walked to Caleb’s car. I had taken an Uber there. Given my address, his GPS navigated and that drive was quiet.

Our hands touched and didn’t mind. It was… like we never left. Saying that over and over never seemed to be enough. Though just after pulling into my complex, our seatbelts were off and we slid close in the front seat of his car. That cinnamon taste was faint but his mouth was still sweeter than I remembered earlier. I felt how excited he was against my thigh and the same feeling burned through me as his hand reached down and rubbed me.

Light at first… then a little harder. Groans were in reverse, soft to start then louder as I held Caleb to be, body open to him. When we finally could pull away, there were smiles and more jitters as we got out of the car. Taking his hand, I led him eagerly upstairs. No sooner than when the door to my apartment closed did Caleb scoop me up, pressing my back to the wall as his cock rubbed mine through our pants.

Holy God he was as big as I remember… That first time made sure I didn’t and the anticipation made me moan louder.

“I’ve missed you so much Cay…”

“Don’t worry Joshie… I’m not going anywhere…” He whispered sweetly, rubbing against me every so often as we kissed.

“It’s been a while for me. I hope that’s not a problem.” I felt my face go red, though Caleb tilted my chin up to look at him.

“I’ll be gentle. Don’t worry.”

—

We tried not to talk as our bodies moved. Letting me down, we barely made it to the couch as I pushed Caleb down. He chuckled, pulling off his jacket before standing to help remove some kaçak bahis of my clothes. Shaky as I was to be with him, it was a little silly. But he did as always: slowed things down for me to follow. Chest facing him, my hands were steadier undoing his polo buttons then pulled it off.

Lines of his muscles were well defined, though still with plenty of soft spots. Working on his belt, my lips kissed along his chest, nipping at the sensitive skin. Caleb groaned again softly, my body trying not to shiver wildly as his hands undid my pants then reached in. Through the little bush of soft hairs, he found my cock, hand then wrapped around. The kisses to his body stopped to moan, knees knocking each other.

I pushed him down again, knowing what I wanted first. Kneeling in front of him, he was unzipped and full length fished out so I could see. Swallowing my drool, the sight of how beautiful he was tempting. Kisses softly pressed to his shaft as we locked eyes. I took my time, knowing that it was just us now… Building up tension, my tongue licked slowly before taking him into my mouth.

The weight behind his sigh told me he relaxed, both of us safe with each other. Each movement was matched by a slight thrust, making me drip and feel harder than I already was. We hadn’t started yet and I wanted to cum. Pushing me back carefully, Caleb took his pants off, helped me out of mine, and told me to lie down first. Wondering what he was doing, his lips trailed downward. Cheek, mouth, shoulder, chest, stomach, between my legs and inner thighs. Teasing my inner thighs, he opened my legs a bit wider, lying comfortably as he started to lick my tip.

The reaction I had was for my back to curl, Caleb taking me in his mouth as I moaned into a couch pillow. It was so loud that I could have screamed. He took every inch… tongue gliding underneath my shaft. When I could stop seeing stars, I realized we were in 69 position, letting me tease and go down on him in return. The sounds he made were music to me, lighting a fire inside. The pace was slow but Caleb’s taste… drove me crazy. I was sure the taste of me was how I felt of his.

Close to ecstasy, though hoping that we could play longer.

I felt coldness where his mouth had been, making me pull away to see him looking at me with lustful eyes. They made me forget how to breathe, more so as he sat up to meet me for a passionate kiss. As quickly as I was up, Caleb laid me back as he positioned himself between my legs. Our lips parted over and over, my nails scratching and hoping he never went too far. Finally, we surfaced from the sucking and kissing to check in with each other.

“Still feeling okay Joshie?”

“More than okay.” I muttered quietly. “More like I’m being spoiled.”

“Heh good.” He said this with a warm smile, licking the side of my face as I moaned airily.

“Cay… is the couch big enough?”

“Should be. Unless you would be more comfortable in your bed.”

I nodded slightly, Caleb leaving me as we stood up and I showed him to my room. Caught in another kiss, we fell back against the softness of the bed. How I fit against him made my toes curl… Teasing his cock, I pressed my ass against him, a hand then gripping my hip as the center of his eyes were black. That look… I hadn’t seen it with anyone else. Not even my ex husband. This feeling with Caleb, how he cupped my face and kissed me deeply that I felt it at the top of my hair and downward.

In a long sweet kiss, his hand stroked me and I did the same, groaning as we kept fooling around and edging. Both of us were nervous to cum before the other, wanting to be connected when we did.

“Cay… Cay please…”

“What does my baby boy want?”

“You… inside… don’t make me wait… please…”

“All or none?”

“Lube… just you and lube…”

“Get it for me Joshie.”

He hesitated to let me go and I was in no rush to leave the warmth of his arms. When I finally did, I reached into a bedside drawer to see if I had any lubricant or condoms. Not much lube left but a few condoms. Like hell if I was not feeling him fill me… Showing him the bottle, he tilted his head, taking it and beckoning me back nearer to him. I laid on my back, eyes on him as he poured some of the lube on his fingers. The dark primal look in his eyes made me shiver again, especially as we kept looking at each other as he oiled every inch of himself.

There was an eager gulp from him, moving closer with more lube on his fingers to make sure I was ready… Around my asshole was sensitive to feel him again, trying not to finish as his fingers slipped in to lube me there too. A low throaty laugh came from him as I clenched around his fingers. As I bit my lip, all the precum on the head of his cock caught my eye…

“I’ll feed you…” He muttered.

“Never leave me hungry again.”

Removing his fingers and putting the lube aside, Caleb moved between my legs illegal bahis again, tip pressed against where I ached. Leaning over me, our lips met, a whisper between us.

“Promise I won’t Josh…”

Wrapping my arms around his neck and legs around his waist, he held my gaze while pushing into me. That breath was shaky, between gasps and loud moans as the length of him burrowed gradually. He bit his lip while looking at and hearing me. Using those noises I made, Caleb started to move his hips. My legs couldn’t help squeezing to keep him close, toe white at how they kept curling. Right where it felt best… each trust drove me crazier than before…

Both of us wanted to speed up the pace, reach the intense passion we had inside. Instead, we edged for who knows how long, Caleb’s cock nearly sliding out only to slip back inside until I felt his balls against my ass. I didn’t want to ruin his skin… but the slight change of pace to go faster made my body tingle and burn to the point that was my only reaction other than moaning.

“That’s it… Scream for me…”

My back’s reaction was to arch, drawing him more inside. His hand beside me gripped the sheets, making him dip his head down for another feverish kiss and slowing down as we held each other. The tingling of my cock became harder to bear, twitching and spurting beads of cum between our bodies. Resting his forehead to mine, I started to moan his name over and over, making his body shake and lose control as he pounded me without stopping. Another kiss was had, biting his lip and he bit mine in return as his own noises got louder.

Holding his hips, I wanted every drop inside me… and the hot burning in me said that’s what would happen. We stood locked for some minutes, cumming, panting, shivering, kissing. Caleb growled through the kisses, body over mine like a predator. Though as my hands slipped to touch his face, I had his attention.

“Is… everything okay?” He asked.

“Of course…” I giggled. “But… I want to do something for you.”

“What do you mean?”

Biting my lip, I pushed him back, positions carefully shifting. Such a strong man… vulnerable and shy at the thought of me over him. The look of his eyes being big to attack were big in slight discomfort or fear.

“If you want me to, I can take care of you too. Since I still haven’t… finished.”

“Josh, you don’t have to. You know that.” Caleb reached up, his large hand touching my face. “I promised-“

“Now I want to promise. To remind you that… I can take care of you too.”

His face was pink in the dim room. The feeling in his body said that he wanted to say yes but not look less of a strong man. I shook my head, leaning down for a kiss as his strong arms held me tightly. Good… now I can care for him…

Pulling away, the rest of the lube was put on my length then around and inside Caleb. He looked awkward but was trusting me as his first. Though he did relax before, he flinched in pain. Even so, I soothed him, not breaking eye contact while trying again. There was a sort of pop as I sank inside, his eyes tearing up and arms squeezing me to him. With soft hushing, I tried to talk him down again.

“You’re okay Cay… Doing so good…”

“Josh… I-I’m-“

“You’re still my man… no matter what.”

“It stings…”

“Do you want to stop?”

“No… Just… Slowly…”

I wasn’t going to last long with how tight Caleb felt. But as we rocked our hips in clumsy sync, the tension in his body started to melt away. Knowing his eyes were that of pleasure… it was beautiful…

His cum dripped out of my ass and down my shaft as I thrust. God it was hot and getting hotter as he moaned aloud for me. One leg kept me from leaving, cock twitching as he did so, every drop of me staining the inside of him. While I wanted to stay that way for a bit, his ass forced me to slip out and I didn’t want to push too hard to leave Caleb sore. Swept in each other’s arms, we definitely had a moment.

I love yous, snuggling, light touches.

—

“Did you expect this today?” I laughed softly.

“Not at all. But this was better than I imagined my night going.” He admitted. “I… thought we might go as far as kissing.”

“Heh you definitely are a gentleman. Even if passion had other ideas.”

“Josh… about me and-“

“You don’t have to explain Cay. Even when someone is in the lead, they can be taken care of too.”

“It’s not weird.”

“Of course not.” I teased him with another kiss. The air cleared, making us both smile.

Satisfied, we left bed to wash up for the night. There was fondling but no playing for now. Though the morning might be another story. Before getting back to bed, the sheets were changed and washed, both of us talking over sandwiches and sodas. Stretched out on the couch together, it reminded me why Caleb was my first… and that he still meant so much to me. Everything about him felt the same. Sparking every moment we were together. Best friends… lovers… and maybe one day, husbands.

—-

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