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“Once, only once,” Kate sighed as her finger circled her clitoris while with her other hand she caressed one of her breasts, “we only did it once.”

Her sighs became gasps as she brought herself to orgasm, her clitoris stimulating finger moved faster and she was squeezing one of her nipples.

As she climaxed she cried out, “Alec…Alec…fuck me darling…fuck me,” and as she began the descent from the pinnacle she wept. There was no Alec to fuck her, and she shared at least half the blame for that.

* * * * * * * *

The whole scheme had been doomed to failure from the start, the idea of a second honeymoon after twenty years of marriage when the sharp edge of sexual attraction that was there at the beginning is no longer urgent, and in Kate’s case no longer there at all as far as her husband Steve was concerned.

It had been Kate’s idea as a desperate move to try and pull the marriage together. She knew that Steve was being unfaithful, in fact had been unfaithful with several women. They had slept apart for two years, first in separate beds, and then separate rooms.

The idea had been foolish and even grotesque right from the start. Their honeymoon had been spent on a small hired river houseboat that was simply named “The Honeymooner.” There in quiet places along the river they had made love, swum naked, and the made love again. Now Kate and Steve never made love and that had been Kate’s main motive in suggesting another such houseboat trip, trying to revive what was essentially dead.

The situation was even more hopeless and ridiculous because they had taken their son Alec with them. Alec had of course been the reason for their marriage, or more accurately, Kate’s pregnancy.

Steve had very reluctantly agreed to the trip, whether out of some sense of guilt or not, who knows? But at least he had agreed.

With three of them on board any sort of one bed cabin honeymooner was out of the question, and they ended up hiring a four bed cabin boat. Right from the start it had been fruitless. Steve virtually demanded a cabin to himself, leaving Kate and Alec to occupy two of the other cabins, with one left unused.

Had Kate hoped to pull the marriage together she knew even before they had untied the first rope, that it was a wasted effort. But there was to be one outcome that she had not foreseen, and that outcome was to bring about a change in all their lives.

* * * * * * * *

Perhaps Kate was the eternal optimist and she insisted that they stop at the places they had stayed at during that long ago honeymoon. One such place was a wide sandbar in a bend of the river.

No doubt still clinging to the last rags of hope Kate had suggested they swim naked, as they had done on their honeymoon. Steve had declined and had sat gloomily fishing.

Their son Alec was incredibly shy about his body, but after much persuasion Kate got him to swim naked with her. It was a foolish move and Kate should have known it, but if she did know it, she ignored the potential danger, or did she invite it?

When Kate and Alec climbed back aboard the boat Kate asked Alec to dry her back. Alec gazed at her, and despite her forty years it has to be said that she was worth gazing at.

She had the slender face of a mischievous pixie, with abundant golden- brown hair, now wet, large brown eyes, a short tip tilted nose and a mouth like a rosebud. Short in stature, only five feet two inches, her figure was trim with well formed legs and breasts that seemed a little too large for her frame. As Alec looked at her he could see at her groin the hint of a firmly cleft vulva.

They had not seen each other like this before, and now Kate could see Alec’s response to her nakedness. His penis rose and became firm, he wanted her, but then, she had known for a long time that her son had a sexual interest in her. She had accepted this, knowing that sons often had a sexual longing for their mothers, but Kate told herself this was a passing phase in Alec’s life.

Now, seeing his erect manhood she was not so sure about the “passing phase.” She felt her body responding to him, her vagina becoming wet and her nipples extending. She glanced at Steve, had he noticed what was happening? No, he was sullenly intent on his fishing, gazing out over the water.

Kate hastily handed Alec the towel and turned her back. If she hoped that this would reduce the sexual tension she was disappointed. The intimacy of drying her back from her neck down to her firm buttocks was intensely sensual.

When Alec finished drying her she was tempted to ask him to dry her front, but instead she took the towel and fled to her cabin and dropping onto the bed she lay breathing heavily, trying to control the sexual arousal Alec had inspired in her.

She heard Alec make his way into his cabin and she started to imagine what he was doing – masturbating to relieve his sexual tension?

Still naked Kate started to gently press one of her nipples and her hand reached bahis firmaları down and she fingered her genitals. Deprived of sexual gratification for a long time she had frequently resorted to masturbation, but whereas in the past her fantasies had been of faceless men, now they took definite form, Alec.

She told herself she should have known. As Alec had passed from childhood and grew towards maturity she had seen and even felt his desire for her. The pressure of his firm penis against her as they hugged, the kisses that lingered and almost but not quite become tonguing kisses, his words of admiration for her looks, all had been obvious signs of his feelings for her.

Kate had accepted this as not being unnatural, but not until now had she felt herself responding to his arousal.

After she had made herself come Kate lay on the bed wondering about this newly experienced desire for her son. Had it been there all along, but deeply repressed? Was it because of her lack of sexual gratification with Steve? Was it the instinctive response of a mother to the son she loved? If it was natural in Alec, was it natural in her?

She had no answer to these questions; she only knew that masturbating had only marginally eased her sexual hunger for Alec, and she was wise enough to know that now it had started it would not easily go away.

She had never been promiscuous and Steve had been the only man in her life, and this very trip had been an attempt on her part to try and restore what they had once been to each other, and now this had occurred.

She recalled the words of an older woman when she first started work. “My dear,” she had said, “if you get really horny over some man it’s better to have him because it’s only when you hold back the damage is done.”

At the time Kate had not properly understood what the woman meant and it was only when she began dating with Steve that she had felt, as the woman had put it, “horny.” That in the end was the cause of her pregnancy and marriage, but that now lay in the dead past, so what of her “horniness” inspired by her son? Did the same apply, that the damage would be done if they held back, and what damage? She could not find the answer.

* * * * * * * *

The next day she and Alec swam together again but this time they wore bathing gear, Alec in shorts and Kate in a bikini. This token cover up did nothing to prevent their mutual arousal but it was more obvious in Alec with his swollen manhood than in Kate with only swollen nipples showing against her bikini top.

Alec, still morosely fishing, was making it obvious he didn’t want to be there. He was no doubt thinking of what he might be doing with his latest inamoratas, and telling him self it was only another four days and they would be off the boat. Not even his sexual deprivation led him to resort to Kate.

Sexual arousal when you know it is going to be fulfilled is a happy experience, but when you know there is no hope of such fulfilment, it is very depressing, and the atmosphere on the boat was even gloomier.

Kate fought an inner battle. Her sexual attraction, not to say need for Alec, and his obvious desire for her made both of them restless. At times they tried to avoid each other, but that was difficult on a houseboat; at other times they gave in to the temptation to be close to each other, even to the point of swimming naked again. Such is the ambivalence of those who long for the forbidden and cannot resist being in its presence.

Such was the situation on the last night on board the boat. The night was warm and humid and Kate lay on top of the bed covers. In her imagination she conjured up a vision of Alec lying naked on his bed. Was he thinking of her? Was he masturbating as he thought of her? She began to stimulate herself but that was barely necessary because she was already aroused.

She had to know, she had to experience what it would be like with Alec. If it turned out to be disastrous then it would only accord with the rest of the trip, and so what was there to lose?

She rose and went out into the central passageway. Listening at the door of Steve’s cabin she heard the muffled sounds of his snores. She moved on to Alec’s cabin and quietly entered.

The only light came from a three-quarters moon shining through the cabin window. She could see Alec’s form on the bed; he was lying on his back naked and asleep. Kate carefully sat on the bed. She could dimly see that Alec had an erection, perhaps inspired by some erotic dream. Was it a dream about her?

Almost fearfully she took hold of his penis and gently caressed it, and then leaning over she kissed its head. There was a trace of precum on it and she licked this off and then took the head of his penis into her mouth and began to suck and lick it.

She tasted more precum and Alec stirred. Kate froze for a moment, but as Alec did not awake she recommenced her sucking, gently stroking his penis with her hand at the same time. It had been a long time kaçak iddaa since she had tasted and smelt a penis and she became careless, too enthusiastic, and Alec stirred again, and this time he woke up.


“Ssh darling,” Kate said softly, “it’s me, it’s all right.”

“Mother!” Alec exclaimed now fully awake.

“Quiet darling,” Kate whispered, “we can do what we’ve wanted to do all week, but quietly.”

Alec could have no doubts about Kate’s intention and he said, “But father…”

“Asleep, but we mustn’t wake him. Just lay still darling and leave it to me.”

She vaguely wondered if Steve would give a damn if he did wake and find them making love, but that was a risk Kate did not want to take.

She carefully sat astride Alec and holding his penis in her hand she lowered herself on to it until its head was pressing against the inner lips of her vulva. Feeling the wet softness of those sensitive lips Alec gave a muffled groan. Kate slowly dropped lower and his penis slipped into her vagina.

As she dropped lower to take his whole length into her Alec gasped, “Mother…oh mother…it’s beautiful…so…oh…oh…”

“Enjoy darling,” Kate murmured, “I want you to enjoy me.”

“I love you…I love you…” Alec moaned, “I’ve wanted you so badly.”

“Yes, I know darling and I love you and want you.”

Kate began to move over him, drawing back until his penis almost exited her tunnel and then plunging down again. It was difficult for them to remain silent as their orgasms approached and Alec could not hold back from crying out, “I’m coming…I’m coming mother.”

“Shush,” Kate said, “just let it go darling, put it all I me, I want to feel it.”

She felt it, the squirting of his warm young semen into her. His hands were on her hips, at first dragging her down on to him and then lifting her and pulling down with each spasm of his ejaculation.

Kate struggled to remain quiet as her own orgasm convulsed her. She bit her lower lip until it almost bled and when at last it was over she leaned over Alec, her breasts brushing against his chest and said, “Remember darling, I love you.”

She withdrew from him and as silently as a shadow she left his cabin, her hand covering her genitals to hold Alec’s semen in her vagina. She paused to listen at Steve’s door and again heard his steady snores. Entering her own cabin she laid on her bed, her hand still holding back Alec’s sperm, as if she was reluctant to let it go.

For her it had been as if she had closed a circle. She had born him in hr womb; she had given birth to him, she had tended and loved him as a child, and now, in his maturity, with his penis in her vagina, it seemed as if he had returned to where he belonged and the circle was closed.

It had been beautiful, but not enough. There had been no foreplay, no exploration of each other, only his penetration and she knew they both needed so much more. It was now she realised the danger, not in the sense that the woman at work had meant all those years ago, but another sort of danger.

Had their sexual intercourse been less that beautiful, if it had not been, as she visualised it as closing the circle, there might have been no danger, but its very success had taken them into hazardous territory. Now they had started – had experienced each other – they would want more and then more again. They had begun something that would be difficult and painful to stop.

Yes, even in its limited way it had been too good and Kate wondered how they could go on living together in the same house without making love again, and in the end Steve would be sure to find out.

Kate asked herself if she cared whether or not Steve found out. If it had been some lover other than Alec she might not have cared, but the spectre of incest hung over them.

Kate could have wept with frustration and an anger that was turned in on her self. It was as if every move she made was the wrong one: this whole trip, the nude bathing, the silent acknowledgement of mutual sexual desire, and now the fulfilment of that desire or at least the partial fulfilment of something that should have become an extended passionate affair. Perhaps there was also an element of guilt, and Kate knew that some radical move had to be made to stop any further development in their sexual activity, but she didn’t know what to do.

* * * * * * * *

Unknown to her Alec was having similar thoughts. Their brief sexual encounter had been the most beautiful that Alec had ever known, and although he did not think of it in terms of closing a circle, it had seemed like a homecoming, the place where he belonged.

It might be thought that this sense of belonging would be the source of great joy, but in fact he felt it as a threat. Like Kate he could see that now it would be difficult to stop love making with his mother if they remained in close contact, and it was he who made the decision about how to act.

The boat trip over kaçak bahis and once more at home, Alec told Kate he would be leaving home for at least a year. There was no talk of their brief love encounter but they both knew why he was leaving home.

The way Alec expressed it was that like many of his contemporise he would go backpacking for a year; this was usually an interval between the end of high school and the beginning of further studies or the start of working life.

Relieved that Alec seemed to have found the solution to what Kate saw as a painful dilemma, she had agreed.

Insofar as Steve had any interest in what Alec did he also agreed, his one comment being, “It’ll make a man of him.” And so Alec set out to travel the vastness of Australia, picking up such casual work as he could.

Almost as soon as he left Kate realised that she had been cut off from the one source of love in her life. She also realised that her marriage to Steve was at an end. This was made even more certain when she found herself to be pregnant – the result of her brief encounter with Alec.

Since Steve could not possibly have impregnated her, it had to be a lover, but who he was never made aware of. That ended the marriage with only divorce left to be finalised.

Kate gave birth to a daughter, but Alec was left ignorant of the drama going on at home.

Alec had kept in touch with Kate via telephone and snail mail, letting her know where he was and that he was well. Kate said nothing about giving birth or the end of her marriage. She had resolved that she did not want Alec to feel compelled to come to her out of some sense of duty. If and when he came home it would be because he wanted to and not because of any pressure applied by her.

Poor Kate, she always seemed to make the wrong decisions. The only right one as she saw it now was that night when she and Alec had made love. This had at least given her something of Alec in her life, the child Alexandria. It was little Alex who seemed to be in the centre of the circle Kate had visualised.

Had she known what was going to happen when Alec had left she might never have let him go, because with Steve gone they would have been free to fulfil there love freely. But if Alec stuck to his original decision he would come home at the end of the year, and how would he respond to Alex? This Kate dreaded.

And so the end of the year drew near. Alec, living somewhat frugally on his casual earnings, had bought himself a second hand car. His last telephone contact with Kate was to announce that he would be coming home. It was then that Kate told him of his father’s departure, implying that they could now freely become lovers. But Kate still feared to tell Alec that he had fathered a child with her.

Throughout the year she had wondered if Alec had found someone else. Perhaps he had experienced many girls – girls who would be much younger than her and prettier. She feared that Alec would not want her, especially now there was Alex.

The telephone call that announced that Alec was coming home seemed to contain the possibility of yet another ill-starred event in her life.

* * * * * * * *

Alec had not given an exact date and time for his arrival home, and so Kate was unprepared when she heard his car pull into the drive. She was wearing only the scantiest of clothing and her milk laden breasts were swinging free.

If she had any doubts about how Alec felt about her this was quickly solved. As soon as she opened the door to him he said, “Oh mother I’ve missed you so much…I’ve needed you so much…is…is it still the same…oh God I’ve nearly been drive out of my mind wanting you at times, do you still want us to be…?”

“Yes darling, nothing’s changed between us we can… “

She was not allowed to finish what she was going to say. Alec took her in his arms and kissed her hungrily and then carried her to the big divan in the living room.

“I want you, “he said, “I want you now…”

Kate felt utterly vulnerable; she knew what was going to happen and was helpless to stop it. As Alec kissed her almost desperately his hand moved inside her frail garment and finding a breast he gently compressed it and its nipple leaked her warm milk. The fluid ran down onto Alec’s hand and he ceased kissing her and looked down in surprise at her breast.

“You’re….you’re breast feeding,” he gasped, looking at his wet hand.’

“Yes, I’m sorry darling, I can’t help it if you…”

“No, it’s so sexy,” Alec said as if awestruck. “You’ve had a baby!”

“Yes darling.”


“Can’t you guess?


Yes you darling.”

Kate knew instinctively what Alec was going to do. “If he does it he’ll make me come,” she thought.

Alec pressed her breast again and this time it’s nipple squirted milk, and as she had thought Alec leaned over her breast and licked the milk, and then he took the nipple into his mouth and sucked.

Kate held his head close to her as she felt her orgasmic spasms but it was a very tender orgasm, soothing and filled with love for the one who suckled at her breast.

Alec released her nipple and said, “I think you had an orgasm.”

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