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FIRST TIME EVER LOSING MY VIRGINITY TO THE GIRL OFI think ever since I can remember, I was the hopeless romantic. I would open doors, pull chairs, bring flowers, and offer my assistance if someone needed help. It seems like this art form is dying day by day right in front of our eyes. I can assure you, there is nothing romantic about what transpired in my first encounter that cold January night! I remember it like was yesterday, not in a good or bad way, just as one of the funniest sex stories I will write about of sexual encounters of my life. Hopefully if you guys like this one I will have many more to add to the list! I am a goof ball and clown by nature and love making people laugh! I always knew making people laugh and smile made me feel great, so why not make it a habit!Growing up super over protected and in a Catholic household, I grew up to be very shy with the ladies! But that never stopped me from being a horny little devil! I left for the military right after high school and still a Virgin. I knew I needed to change that quickly since almost all my friends were not anymore and I must say I was a bit embarrassed by that fact. Getting used to my surroundings when I arrived in Georgi was going to make it even harder to adjust since it was my first time away from my family. And out of all states I end up in Southern Georgia! Being Hispanic I experienced some racism growing up but I just dealt with. Georgia would test my ability to bite my tongue because I have a very healthy temper! My favorite saying I used often and came up with myself was………..”DON’T EVER PET A RATTLESNAKE.” Most didn’t listen, too many I lost count got bit! But that will be another subject we can discuss if you guys ever want to here about any of my bar fights. I have about a couple hunpdred of those stories, but I’d rather make you guys laugh! Lol. Now that being said, it brings us to the story at hand! Being what you guys would call a late bloomer, I really wanted to lose my virginity before I turned 19. Most people lose it in their mid teens, it wasn’t the case for me. Well crap, now that I recall, I didn’t even try my first d**g until I was in my mid twenties. Even drinking, I remember my dad offering my first Budweiser when I came home to California right after boot camp. I had one sip and poured it out when he wasn’t looking. I thought it was disgusting. My feelings towards alcohol would change that night when my buddy and team mate from our rodeo team offered me a swig of some spirits he brought in to the bar concealed in a silver flask. I thought, if I can get on a 2000 pound bull every weekend when we practiced, what’s a little drink of booze going to do to me? I said sweet, fuck it, let me see that flask. I expected it to be nasty but I can muğla escort still taste that shot of Southern Comfort going down. As soon as it hit my belly, I felt that little burn when it settles, and I started to keep asking for more because it felt like straight energy and I was feeling no pain within a couple of hours. There was a group of girls we would always see. 2 of them were sisters, one was a cousin. I have always being attracted to blondes and I was hoping I would end up with her since she was better looking out of the 2 sisters and more attractive. It wasn’t meant to be, but at least I found out later she had her ear to the door and was rubbing her pussy when I was banging her sister. Lol. She would be added to the list soon there after. Nothing funny about sleeping her, I remembered saying while looking at the scratch and bite marks she left but I had a good time On the way to the area where they lived, we stopped at the store to get some condoms. Last thing on my plans that night, was too end up with an unplanned pregnancy. I wasn’t ready to be anybody’s baby daddy. Coming from a family of 14 people with most of us boys with the exception of 2 girls, wasn’t a risk I was willing to take.lol. My dad is like a freaking sniper, one shot of cum in your vagina, one k** for sure. Lol I know because I tried it and got one of my girlfriends pregnant! I guessed the due date, she came back in a few weeks, top me she was in fact pregnant and my guess was only 3 days off! On a serious note, don’t do it to try to save a relationship, it will not work long term. So we are pulling in to where they live and I almost wanted to run for my life. I always pictured my first time in a nice home, hers or mine it didn’t matter. You know, something romantic, warm, and with candles lit everywhere. Instead the sex gods we laughing their asses off as they saw us pull in front of this trailer park and into their single wide mobil home. The nightmare was just beginning I thought. Since the shirt hair brunette had been giving me CPR since we left the bar I figured it was safe to assume I was going to be sleeping with her. So I just wanted to get it done and over with since it was 12:30 am and I had to get up for PT (physical training) at 5:30 am and it was Friday morning already. 7 mile run that day, I knew I was surely going to die or puke my ass off, whichever came first! Lol. We retired to her room. I knew she was eager to claim the prize since she knew it was my first time! I was so green behind the ears and new at this that she even helped me with the condom. I said sweetie just start the car, put it in gear, and I take care of the driving! Lol I said to myself, keep it nice and straight and at a normal rate of speed. I kept it nice and straight escort muğla because my cock was rock hard from beginning to the end, even after I was done. And I kept it normal because it was all in the missionary position for about 3 hours. Lol. Needless to say I passed my driving test. Wooohoooo! I remember that her legs felt uncomfortable because she forgot to shave that day! Her vagina area felt like that too but not as bad! Luckily for me, pink tacos were not in the menu, only tube steak or trouser trout for her! Condom and my rig in place, it was time to drill baby! And drilling is what I did. Within the first thrusts, she started becoming very vocal. One for team SANCH CLAUS I thought and started to giggle at this new experience. Definitely gave me the confidence to keep On digging! As her she started getting louder and louder, I was laughing and giggling more that I could not even look her in the face anymore. It felt like we were in two separate parts of the world. Me being at Dysneyland for the first time and her at an unlicensed dentist getting her teeth pulled out with not anesthetic. lol. Then I reminder those words that almost made me stop, pull my pants up, and go home. I heard stories of people calling someone by the wrong name in bed while having sex. Didn’t take me very long to hear to whom she was referring to! By now her screams were so loud I thought some serious damage was being done down there, but I couldn’t stop laughing! And now she was screaming that name over and over! I know Hispanics use this name a lot for their newborn boys! Hell, I have a cousin with this name in California! Surely she can’t be talking about him I thought. He is 3000 miles away. And upon hearing that name over and over, my head was starting hurt for laughing so hard. She kept saying Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus! Lol. I guess it was until she used the combination of Oh Jesus and Oh my God that my cousin Jesus had nothing to do with! LolBy this time it was pushing 4:00 am and we had started a little after 1:00 am. So I told myself to try to concentrate on finishing up soon and since I kind had to concentrate to try get myself to come when I jerked off, I would stop giggling and finish up. About 4:30 I started to get that feeling and my legs straightened and tensed up. I shot my load for what it seemed like 10 minutes but I’m pretty sure it was less. But funny thing is, my Cock was still rock solid when I pulled it out. I said to myself, I am not going to go to sleep anyways so I put it back in and continued. This second time I made sure I didn’t laugh. I didn’t want to last that long again, I had to be in formation back at the base by 5:30 am with fifteen minutes to change into my running clothes. The second one came a lot faster, muğla escort bayan probably 40 minutes or so. Again I starting to get that feeling again. By now I had enough of her screaming. I felt the build of my second orgasm coming, but to this date I still don’t know how much of each went into that condom, …………ill explain. There was cum from the first orgasm there already, but when I was done with the second one, it felt like I came and then something extra but it still felt good. Lol. So I pulled out this huge full condom with piss and cum swimming all around in it that I had to waddle like a freaking penguin to her toilet to flush it down. Lol I had to cradle it with one hand underneath to keep the weight from sliding off of my cock. Lol. Luckily I was still hard so that helped with the pressure and gave me time to dispose of this deadly water balloon before it had time to detonate and send millions of my pissed off babies everywhere. Lol I sometimes picture myself carrying that thing to the bathroom hunched over looking ridiculous! Her cute sister didn’t make matters any less funny either. As soon as we came out the bed room she was silently sitting on the couch with her hand on her thighs. Before we could say I word she began immitating her sister!………..Oh Jesus…..Oh Jesus…….Oh Jesus! I had to laugh some more, but not her sister. She was red with embarrassment!They drove my back to the base! With no sleep, dehydrated, and with a grin on my face like I smoked weed for 5 hours straight. Lol. To this day, those were the easiest 7 miles I have ever ran in my whole life! I have been blessed to have had countless nights of freaking awesome sex. Nights of tearing her and my clothes of kind of sex. Almost like a scene from Mr and Mrs Smith’s movie when they are trying to kill each other, blow up the house, and at the end have the most wonderful, raw, a****listic sex, but I remember the funnier stories closer to my pants………I meant to say my heart! Lol Maybe deep down inside I am true to myself and know that freaky, crazy, and wild nights will only last until my body gives out! But damn it……………I can have as many funny sex stories til the day I die even in my death bed! Hopefully I will die with a hot nurse giving me a blowjob on the way out! Lol! Either way I’m going with a bang! Some people say, I’m a lover, not a fighter! I say to those people, I am a lover and a fighter! ……….Because I love fighting in bed! 2 different adrenaline rushes combined into one. I live for things that make me feel alive! Both do it for me, but I prefer sex since it lasts 100 times longer than any of my fights. Lol. But just a fair warning, don’t try to create a funny sex story, only let it surprise you if it does happen!Last thing you want is either one of guys standing in the nude, horny as hell, and all because you said something you wish you hadn’t said! Jus look away and giggle! Hope you guys liked it! Let me know!!!!ThanksEL SANCHO CLAUS–

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