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Mystic GodfatherMystic Godfather—————-Chapter 1———His arrival was memorable in itself but that was the night I went to myfirst high school dance. Mom tried to console me she would neverunderstand. I buried my head in my pillow so I didn’t notice the flashof light or hear the opening of the closet door. The music was on tomask my tears so I didn’t hear him approach.I only knew someone was in my room when I felt something bump against mybed. A man was standing there when I looked up. He had curly brownhair and looked to be about thirty years old with the thick frame ofsomeone that worked out a lot. I don’t know why I didn’t scream but Ithink it had something to do with his eyes. They were ordinary browneyes, hidden by thick glasses, but when I looked into them I just knewhe meant me no harm.I don’t know why I felt this way. Perhaps it was his face that lookedas scared as I felt. I asked the obvious question.”Who are you? Why are you in my bedroom?”The man seemed to relax when I spoke and he said, “I’m here to help.”I didn’t understand. How could this strange man help? What could heknow? I sat up and pulled my covers close.He said, “I know about the dance. I know about Tim.”My face began to redden. “Wha– How? No way. I haven’t told anyoneabout that.””I know you James. Better than you know yourself.””But how?””I know people don’t believe in fairy tales any more but that doesn’tmean the stories are complete lies. Think of me as your … mysticgodfather. I’m here to help.” He laughed at his joke.”Is that like a fairy godmother? Or a guardian angel?”The man said, “Something like that. It’s ok that you like Tim.””B-B-but he’s my best friend. And he likes Betsy.” The image of thethem kissing on the dance floor flashed in my mind and I could feel thetears form.”Tim’s not gay but then neither are you. Not really.”The words confused me and I returned a blank stare.”I know you are going through a rough time and I’m here to help.” Hepassed me a bottle. “Drink this. It will help.”I shook my head.”Come on James. I don’t have a lot of time here. Drink it. I know youwere thinking about killing yourself earlier. Could this be any worse?”The bottle had no label and full of a purplish liquid.”What will it do?””Does it matter? I promise it will help.”I hesitated for a few moments before breaking the seal and drinking itall.The man smiled then walked to the closet and opened the door.”What will it do?””I don’t have time to explain right now but I will be back.””Wait! I don’t even know your name.”The man smiled. “Sam. You can call me Sam.”He closed the closet door and I tried to follow but was blinded by aflash of light. When my vision cleared, the closet was empty.Chapter 2———Things didn’t get better as Sam promised. I tried to act normal as Timand Betsy became inseparable and our friendship suffered. I even triedto go on a few dates with Betsy’s friends but that was more torturousthan spending Saturday night alone in my room. Saturday’s freed up andinstead of parties, I threw myself into my studies as going out seemedpointless. It was a Saturday about a month later when Sam came back. Iwas sitting at my desk figuring out an algebra equation when I saw theflash that announced his arrival.He seemed happy to see me but neither of us were anxious to talk and theawkward silence filled the room as he stared for what seemed like aminute.”Are things better?”I had been waiting for most of the past month to talk to him, “No. Youlied.””I’m sorry. I thought my potion would help.””It didn’t.””Are you at least happier than the last time we met?””Not really.””But you crushed in the mile at the league championship today. That hadto feel good.””Third isn’t winning.””Third?” Sam had a confused look on his face. “That’s interesting. Ithought you won.”I shook my head, “Some mystic godfather you are.”Sam didn’t say anything for a few seconds as he seemed unsure ofhimself. Silence filled the room.My mind flashed back to the race. I’d won all the head to head meets inthe mile during the season and expected to win the league championshipagain since I’d won it as a freshman the year before. Letters fromcolleges had piled up all last summer and dad said he was expectinggreat things from me as I hadn’t even hit the growth spurt my doctorshad predicted. Part of me worried when I grew it would negate theadvantage my long legs and 5’4” frame gave to me. My slight build (110lbs) accrued lots of grief from my classmates over the years though Ihad become accustomed to the nickname of ‘Mouse’ years before. Dad saidhe was a late bloomer too and the other part of me couldn’t wait.Finishing third in the league meet was a sign that something washappening.Sam said, “I’m sorry the last one didn’t work. I’m sure this potionwill make you feel better.”I don’t know why I didn’t make a connection between Sam and my slowertime at the league meet. I drank the second potion without a thoughtand then Sam disappeared.Chapter 3———I think I did feel better for a while. Something was different that wasfor sure. I thought about telling my parents but I knew they wouldn’tbelieve me.It was about a week later that I think I noticed anything though at thetime I didn’t know it. My jersey had irritated my skin and I felt allachy. I remember being mad at everyone and one of my better tantrumsled one of my teachers to push for a 3 day suspension. The schooladministrators wrote it off as frustration as I had just missedqualifying for the regional track meet. It was a bitter pill aftermaking the state meet the year before.Mom and Dad weren’t as understanding when they heard and they sent me tosee my shrink.Did I mention I have a shrink?I should explain. My shrink used the euphemism ‘blue periods’ thoughI’m sure that’s not the clinical name. I was pretty sure my shrink wasa hack because all she did was talk to me for a few sessions, give me afew pills, and then we didn’t see each other for a few months.I know my parents really couldn’t afford to pay for the sessions and italways made me feel bad that they felt they couldn’t control me. I’dhad the problem long before Sam arrived and I think it had something todo with my feelings but I don’t really know. All I knew was I watchedhelpless as I said and did things I couldn’t help. The pills took awaythe panic but not my shame and I never told a soul about it. Not evenmy shrink.Of course Sam knew. He was my mystic godfather after all. When hedidn’t appear after another month I began to wonder if he was ever goingto come back.*****School ended and I’ve never been so glad to see a year end. I made afew halfhearted attempts at finding a job but eventually convinced Dadto let me concentrate on working out instead. Football tryouts were inAugust and I had a lot of work to do to have a shot at varsity. Coachalways claimed that summer workouts were voluntary but it wasn’t acoincidence that anyone that made the team also worked out all summer.My first workout was an embarrassment of epic proportions. I’d lost 40lbs on my bench press and 75 lbs on my squats since I had stoppedlifting weights when track season started. That didn’t bother me as ithad always come back fast in the past but the thing I couldn’t explainwas my endurance workout. Tim beat me by almost a hundred yards in the10 minute run and though I tried to blow it off everyone on the teamteased me about it. Getting beat by Tim wasn’t as bad as it may soundas he was a good runner too. It’s how we become friends in the firstplace. He’d even run anchor leg on the league champ 4×400 relay team. The thing was I had always been faster than him and now I wasn’t. Iblamed my shrink’s meds. The coaches told my dad they thought it mightbe the prelude to the growth spurt he said was coming.I didn’t think about other possibilities.Doc Hack (not my shrink’s real name) changed my prescription after ournext session but it didn’t help. At our next time trial two weekslater, five guys were ahead of me when the coach blew the whistle tosignal the end of the ten minutes.I think that was the first time I really knew that something was wrongand the tears streamed down my face as I sat near where I finished onthe infield of the track. I heard my teammates laughing as they wentback to the locker room but I didn’t care. Only Tim stopped to asked ifanything was the matter but I told him to go away. I didn’t want totalk to anyone.It wasn’t like I didn’t notice changes before but for the most part Ihadn’t minded. The soreness in my chest that had started as anirritation hadn’t gone away but football workouts had made my whole bodyscream in pain.Other things happened that I couldn’t explain. For instance the hair onmy legs and arms had lightened but I liked that as I’d always hatedhairy legs. I’d even gotten a few compliments.The change in my reaction to the locker room was something else. I’dalways hated going into locker room because the sweat combined with dirtand a lack of ventilation to create a stench that was overpowering. Iadmit my locker was among the worst but recently I swear my sweat hadtaken a smell sweet that I liked. The other boys smelled different too.It had a musty smell and I didn’t mind it as much.My attraction to some of the guys on the team was getting worse and Istruggled to control my thoughts and my stares especially as we showeredafter practice. Thankfully I never showed any excitement down there butthat was part of the problem too. My morning friend was essentiallynon-existent and it took all my concentration to get any response atall.As the second month passed with no sign of Sam’s return, I thought abouttalking to my parents about my problems. The thing was I couldn’t tellthem about Sam because they already thought I was crazy. Mentioning aman was visiting me from my closet would have been the last straw.Chapter 4———I was about 12 years old when I realized that I was different from myfriends.It all started when my sister hit puberty. She was a tomboy but itchanged when she got to high school. She laughed when I asked her tospend time with me as her interests now ranged from dresses and shoppingto parties and boys. In hindsight it was inevitable our bond wouldbreak as she was three years older but until then we were best friends. Seeing her wearing all this new stuff was a shock and one afternoon whenshe and my parents weren’t home I had to try it. I can still rememberthe feeling of the silk on my skin. It felt good.She left for college and when no one else was around I made her bedroommy playground and her dressing table my artistic escape. I think shesuspected something early on but never said a word. It was fortunateshe and I were close to the same size and while I felt shame every timeI wore her things it wasn’t like I had any other choice. There was noway I was going to wear Mom’s clothes.*****Another two weeks passed and my name had slid to the bottom of all thecoaches charts. I needed help if I wanted to make the team so I told myparents about my struggles. My Mom took me to the doctor the next day. The doctor called our house a few days later and I knew that couldn’t begood. We scheduled another appointment the next morning because’something in my bloodwork didn’t seem right’. Mom and Dad wouldn’ttell me the details.I got concerned when the doctor started his exam by squeezing andpulling on various parts body that had never interested him before.They did a stress test to check my heart. After that it was off for aseries of X-Rays, a full body MRI, and even a CAT scan. I was startingto get worried I was going to die but I should have noticed a pattern inthe doctor’s questions.”Have you been taking any supplements other than the anti-depressantsyou listed on your chart?””No.””Have you noticed any changes in your testicles lately?””Umm… no.””Are you sure?”I thought about it. “Umm… no.””Are they smaller?””I don’t know. I’ve never measured them.”I remember the annoyed look on his face to my sarcasm. Then he askedthe questions that made it all come together and made me think of Sam.”What about your breasts?””Umm… I don’t have breasts.”The doctor put an x-ray on the wall.”This says different. Are you sure you haven’t been taking anysupplements that might explain this?”I looked at the screen and saw a mass about the size of a quarter behindeach nipple.”What’s that?”The doctor placed my hand on my breast. “Do you feel that?”I got a queasy feeling in my stomach as I felt the lump. I had tried toignore them since I’d noticed them a few weeks earlier.”We call those breasts buds and they are typically found in pre-menstrual girls.”I remember the news gave me a slight thrill along with a shudder thatcrawled up my spine.”What does that mean?””I need to speak with your parents. Are you are sure you haven’t takenanything? A testosterone blocker or estrogen supplements?”Was it possible? No way! I couldn’t tell the doctor the truth. He’dnever believe it. I wasn’t sure I until that moment if Sam’s visitwasn’t anything more than a vivid dream. “I think I drank something ata party a few months ago but I usually stick to sports drinks andprotein powder you can buy in any store. Is it possible they could havecaused this?”The doctor shook his head. “No. You’d need constant shots at variousintervals supervised by a physician to get the results I’m seeing.””What does it mean?””It means we need to talk to your parents and make some decisions beforethis goes any further.”*****I didn’t even flinch when the doctor explained my gynecomastia to myparents. My Dad held my Mom in his arms as tears streamed down herface. The doctor said that my estrogen and testosterone levels wereideal for a 15 year old girl. He couldn’t explain how it happened butthat if left untreated I could soon expect changes to my body that wouldmimic any other teenage girl, in fact it had already started.My Dad seemed mad and yelled at the doctor when he heard the news, “Howcan this be happening?”The doctor shrugged, “I don’t know.”My Mom grabbed me by the shoulders, “Are you taking anything?””I swear I’m not.” I thought about Sam and said. “I mean I dranksomething strange at a party a few months ago but that’s it.”They looked at the doctor who shook his head. “One drink won’t dothis.”Tears streamed down Mom’s face as the doctor explained he’d referred meto a specialist who’d run more tests and probably give me a series oftestosterone boosters. There was talk that I might need breastreduction surgery once they got my hormones under control.The car was deathly silent as we drove home and I knew there was onlyone thing that explained this no matter how unlikely my doctor said itwas. If my guess was correct, he’d be visiting soon.*****For the next week, when I wasn’t at the doctor’s office or going throughthe motions at football workouts I spent my time in my room in hopesthat the one person that I thought could give me answers would re-appear.It was another Saturday night when my patience was rewarded as the tell-tale flash appeared in my closet and I ran to the door. I almost didn’trecognize him.”Sam?”He nodded. “I normally go by Samantha but most of my friends call meSam.”Sam was wearing a dress that went past his knees and the makeup he worehad a classy feel. A pair of designer frames had replaced the thickglasses and his dark brown hair was now auburn with blonde highlights.The hair fell from his face so that it barely touched his shoulders andframed everything in a way that I thought looked really cute.I said, “I don’t understand.””I know and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t been around and I’m sorryfor what I’m putting you through.””Can you explain?”Sam nodded, “I need to be quick. I don’t have a lot of time.”One question popped to mind, “What is going on? Am I a girl or a boy?”Sam smiled, “A little of both it seems.”The lack of answer made me mad. “I don’t understand.”He laughed, “I apologize for my sad attempt at humor at your expense. Iknow this isn’t easy for you.”Sam took a deep breath and continued, “I too have had difficultyunderstanding my sexuality. When I got into UCLA I had quite a fewflings with both sexes but nothing seemed right. Only my passion forcrossdressing seemed to suffice though it was hard to find many friendscomfortable with it.”Sam did seem to understand my issue as he had guessed my secret. “Whatdid you do?””I threw myself into my studies. My grades got me into Cal Tech and anadvanced degree in Physics. That led to bigger and better things thatare better left for later.””But why are you wearing this outfit? The last time we met I think youwere wearing jeans and a t-shirt.” That wasn’t the only change Inoticed.”I guess you could say I’m in the middle of transitioning.”The shock of seeing Sam like this had made me forget my anger but itreturned and I fired off a series of questions I’d been waiting to askall week.”Hey wait a minute! The first time we met you said you were my mysticgodfather. Now you are saying you a just a scientist who istransitioning to live their life as a girl? Should I call you my fairygodmother now? And how are you getting into my closet? And what didyou give me? Do you know what it did?”Sam gave a sympathetic smile. “I know everything has been tough but Idon’t have time to explain it all. I’m sure you can figure it out ifyou think hard enough. I know you have a very good brain inside thathead, James Samuel Cook.”Hearing my middle name made me think of Mom when she was mad.Sam read my mind, “Did I just sound like Mom?”My head started to spin. Was this? It couldn’t be. That’s notpossible.I said, “Those were d**gs you gave me not a magic potion. Experimentald**gs.”Sam nodded. “I know they confused the hell out of your doctor. Iapologize for my part in the deception but I do know deep down it issomething you wanted.””But why? Why did you do this to me?””Come on James. Use your brain. Do I really have to give another hint?Think about all the possibilities and eliminate the things that can’t betrue. The remaining idea has to be the right answer.””But nothing makes sense. Unless….””Yes?””Well somehow you are appearing out of thin air but that’s impossible.””But you know it isn’t. So assume it is and figure the possibilities.””Where are you coming from?””Closer but still not the right question.”The knot in the pit of my stomach tightened as I said the truth Istruggled to believe.”When? Are you from the future?”Sam smiled, “Bingo!””How did you know my thoughts? I never told anyone.”Sam didn’t respond.It was impossible Sam was from the future but it was either that or hereally was magic. And if he was from the future then only one thingmade sense.”Are you … me?”Sam nodded. “I go by Samantha Jane Baker now. I changed it when Ifinally decided to accept my true self. Our parents couldn’t accept itso I broke off contact with them a long time ago.””But why not tell me?””Would you have believed me when we first met? I remember being 15. AsI recall our parents were one step from sending us to a mental hospital.I had to act careful.”I pulled off my top and felt the two small lumps that were slowlygetting bigger. “But why do this? Do you know what you’ve done?”Sam nodded, “You and I both know it is something you wondered about. Itgets much worse as you get older and in time you will wish you had donesomething before you hit your growth spurt.”Sam place three pictures in front of me. That first one is us before Ivisited you the first time.I saw a picture of a tall man I remembered.”This doesn’t look like you.””It isn’t. Not really. The first ‘potion’ he gave you was full ofnanomachines designed to eliminate testosterone from our body. Theprocess takes a few weeks which is why he waited to return. The second’potion’ flooded your system to equate the estrogen level to that of ateenaged girl.”The words made little sense but one thing stood out, “You put machinesin me?”Sam laughed, “It’s complicated but don’t worry. That’s the way manymedications are administered in the future. When they are done theyexit your system in the normal way.””Do I still have any left in me?””Most of them are gone. Each nanomachines has a very specific job andthey shut down to be absorbed once finished. A few are still attachedto our glandular system and regulate our hormone levels to where thedoctor proscribed. That’s where they will stay unless they receivefurther instructions.””The doctors?””Samantha Baker was approved for gender transformation. You got thedoses.””So even if the doctor gives me testosterone booster….””… the nanomachines will clear it from your body.”I felt the rise of a panic attack, “What if I don’t want this?””I know you better than that but that’s one of the reasons for thisvisit. I know you needed some time to digest this information. I willbe coming back next Saturday with another dose but I wanted to give yousome time as you deserve that. I will do what I can to reverseeverything if that’s what you really want but deep down, I think youknow the truth.”James heard a bell and saw Sam pull a device from his belt.”Damn. I thought I set it for longer. Gotta go!””But I’ve got more questions!””Next Saturday. I’ll answer everything next Saturday.”I saw a light flash in the closet and didn’t bother to look as I knewSam was gone.I tried to get some sleep but tossed and turned as my conversation withSam replayed in my mind. I must have dozed off which allowed thecomment that had escaped my conscious mind to work its way to thesurface.The clock read 3:25am when I jumped out of bed and I ran into thecloset.I shouted at the darkness. “What does the third dose do?”No one was there. The answer would need to wait a week.Chapter 5———I knew my parents would be of no help and I couldn’t talk to anyone atschool. Truth be told, Tim was my only close friend and it would be tooembarrassing. I considered talking to my shrink though after I thoughtabout it I doubted that cheap pill pusher had really ever helped anyone.That only left my sister. We hadn’t spoke much since she got back fromschool as she usually slept all morning, worked all afternoon, andpartied all night. Every night at dinner Mom complained as the processrepeated itself.I made sure she had the day off work then waited until 10 AM beforedaring to knock. She didn’t answer on my first or second attempt butbeing desperate, I decided to barge in.”Hey! I didn’t say to enter!”My sister was sitting in a chair by window frantically trying to get thesmoke from her cigarette to go outside.I smiled. “I already know you smoke s*s. There’s no reason to hide itfrom me.””I don’t want Mom to find out dumb ass. Please close that door behindyou on your way out.”I tried to give my sister my most pathetic look, “Do you have some timeto talk, Lynn? I really need to talk to someone and I’ve always valuedyour advice.”My sister laughed. “You want my advice? That’s hard to believe but Iguess you can stay. Just close that door. I really don’t want to hearMom’s shit.”I locked the door and watched as my sister light up another stinkyherbal cigarette.She asked, “What’s up?”My sister had changed a lot in the past year. Even more than she didwhen she first discovered boys. When she left home she was a formercheerleader who made the honor roll every semester. She came home achain smoker that wore lots of black clothing and too much makeup with ahabit of staying out until 3am in the morning. Mom hoped it was just aphase but Lynn had gone through a lot of phases.”I don’t know. How are things with you? I miss talking to you.””Did Mom put you up to this? I swear if…””She didn’t. I don’t know what to say to you anymore Lynn.””So why did you come in here?”Enough small talk. I needed to get to the point. “Did Mom and Dad tellyou about my doctor’s visit?”Lynn shook her head. “We aren’t talking right now. My grades weren’tthat great this last term.”I nodded. That explained a lot about the tension in the house. “WellI’ve got this condition called gynocumasta or something like that.”Lynn shook her head, “What the fuck does that mean?”I couldn’t stop the tears that formed as I spoke. “It means I’ve lostall the testosterone in my body and it’s been replaced by estrogen. I’mcranky, I’m bloated, I’m weaker, and I’m starting to grow tits. It’sturning me into a fucking girl is what the fuck it means.”I remember my sister’s mouth opened as she stared at me without saying aword. It felt like forever but it probably was only a few seconds.”That’s a lot to take in b*o. Are you ok?””I think I am but I just don’t know what to think. You know what Imean?””I guess, wait … Is that why you’ve been wearing my clothes andstealing my makeup?”I felt the blush rise on my cheeks, “You noticed?””You’ve always been a bit of a slob James. I don’t mind sharing justclean up after yourself.” Lynn looked sympathetic then her facebrightened. “Oh, I have a lot of old clothes I was about to throw out. I don’t wear that flowery shit anymore and you can have if you wantthem. I think I have an old makeup kit around here somewhere too.””I don’t know s*s. I don’t think Mom and Dad will like that.””Fuck ’em if they don’t like it. You gotta do, what you gotta do.”Lynn went into her closet and before long, a pile had formed at my feet.Lynn called from the closet, “So is this gynocumia thing reversible?”I shouted back, “I don’t know Lynn.””Considering all this.” She pointed at the pile of clothes she’d placedon the floor. “Do you want it to be?””I really don’t know Lynn.”My sister grinned and threw a few more things on the pile.She helped me put everything into a cardboard box then said, “I hate tobe rude but I gotta get dressed. Some girlfriends and I are headed tothe beach to meet some guys.”Some things never changed.*****My mind raced as I looked at the box on the floor of my bedroom.’Was this really to be my future?’I checked the internet to find out the effect estrogen had on the malebody and some things started to make a lot more sense.Irratibility? Check.Weight gain? Check.Loss of muscle mass? Check.Change in smell? Check.Breast growth? Check.The articles also said my pubic hair growth would tend to a femalepattern though that wasn’t something I’d ever paid much attention. Mytesticles would shrink to a fraction of their former size and thehormone imbalance would eventually cause infertility if they couldn’tstop it in time. That explained why I overheard the doctor mention tomy parents that I needed to go to a sperm bank as soon as possible. Insome small way I guess I was at least thankful for the impotence thatcame along with this as I don’t think I could have handled the grieffrom my teammates if my reaction downstairs reflected my thoughts as weshowered.My voice was another issue. I’d always hated my voice as the guys onthe team didn’t call me ‘Mouse’ for just my diminutive size. Accordingto the articles my voice would never change without testosterone.It also meant I’d never have a growth spurt or at least like the one myDad kept saying was coming. I might grow a few inches but my estrogenfilled body would only be as tall as it would have been if my geneticswere completely female. Speaking of which, estrogen caused girl’sbodies to accumulate more fat which tended to stay on the hips and buttso I had that to look forward to. For all intents, I was going to looka lot like a girl but with none of the plumbing.On a positive note, at least my skin would casino oyna get smoother and my hairwould get more body. Yay me!Breast growth worried me the most as I thought about football practice. I don’t know why I was even bothering at this point as it wasn’t verynoticeable but it was only a matter of time before someone would saysomething in the shower. The area under my nipple was really sorethough thankfully the nipple itself hadn’t started to grow yet. Itmight have been my imagination but I thought I could see thediscoloration around the whole area that the internet said wouldeventually become my areola.My areola!I never was very consistent in taking the mood pills the shrink gave mebut that week I started taking the maximum dose the internet said wassafe. I know it probably wasn’t smart but I knew my normal stressrelief of going for a run would only remind me of just how much strengthI had lost.A few hours must have passed as Mom knocked on my door to let me knowdinner was ready but I didn’t want to see anyone that night. She seemedok with it too as she left a tray of food next to my door.The box of clothes called my name all day but I hadn’t bothered to openit. I had already decided to skip football practice on Monday but Ijust couldn’t put on the clothing. Was that to be my future? It only afew weeks ago that I had spent a whole Sunday dressed in my sister’sclothing while my parents went to pick her up from school. Now thewhole thing scared the hell out of me.”Do I want this?”Chapter 6———It was still difficult to imagine that Sam was my future self but ifthis was a prank it was a convincing one. I knew I needed to focus mymind before Sam returned so I decided to go to the library and do someresearch.”Do you have any books on time travel?”The librarian pointed me to the science section. I found one thatdidn’t seem too complex and spent most of the morning reading it.Theories varied on the subject. Scientists agreed that Einstein’srelativity showed time travel forward was possible but most also said itwas impossible to travel backwards in time. Fiction writers had manymore interesting explanations.Sam’s words echoed in my head, ‘Eliminate the impossible and what youare left with has to be the truth.’That was the problem. Scientists said it was impossible but Sam said hehad come from the future. The doctor also said what Sam’s potion haddone to me was impossible so either he was from the future or a magicianas science didn’t allow for either explanation.Only the fiction writers theories seemed to hold any answers. After Samleft I couldn’t help but think about how much he had changed betweenvisits. The first two times Sam visited he stood about 6’ tall while onthe third ‘he’ seemed to be around 5’8″. On the first two visits, Samhad a deep voice and big frame. On the third, he sounded and lookedmore like a girl. If fact, the only way I even knew it was him was he’dreappeared in my closet and the look in his eyes. All three visitorshad the same kind brown eyes framed by thick glasses.Why did the third Sam change? I thought I understood the answer to thatquestion but then why didn’t the second Sam change too? I added it tothe notepad of questions to ask Sam when he returned.*****Mom took me to see the hormone specialist on Tuesday and Doctor Wilsonconfirmed everything that our family doctor had already said.”Your body has shut off production of testosterone and is producinglarge amounts of estrogen. It’s not unheard of but I’ve never seenanything at this level before. We need to make some quick decisions butnot after your son goes through some counselling.”My Mom asked, “What does that mean? Why does he need anotherther****t?”Dr Wilson answered, “Could you give me some one-on-one time with yourson? I’d like to ask him a few questions and think he might be tooembarrassed to answer with you in the room.”I gave a weak smile as Mom turned to stare at me. “I’ll be ok Mom.”After Mom left, the doctor asked, “Are you sure you aren’t seeing aspecialist? I mean are you taking d**gs to transition from male tofemale but don’t want to tell your parents?”The stream of questions was starting to piss me off, “Why do you guyskeep asking me that?””That’s because your results are too perfect. Even if you bought thed**gs off of the internet you couldn’t have gotten this perfect mix ofd**gs in your blood for your height, weight, and age. This just doesn’thappen naturally to boys without a lot of blood work and carefuladministration.””I don’t know what to say doc. Do you believe in magic wishes?”Doctor Wilson smiled, “Am I to take from the way you answered thatyou’ve at least considered transitioning?”I felt the blood rush to my face and was pretty sure the doctor knew theanswer from my reaction. “It’s crossed my mind a few times but Ihaven’t told anyone. Please don’t tell my Mom. I think it might killher and Dad. I’ve only wore my sister’s clothing when they aren’thome.””But you haven’t taken any d**gs?”I took a few seconds to decide how to respond. She’d never believe thetrue answer. “I have not bought any d**gs nor have I met with a doctorto proscribe me d**gs. I doubt they’d do it without my parent’spermission anyway.”Doctor Wilson said, “It can be done if you want but it is complicated.The most important thing I want you to remember is you can talk to meand I will try to help. I promise I won’t say a word to your parents.I know some good counsellors that specialize in this sort of thing.””Not right now doc but I do appreciate it. I think this is just aphase.””OK but until we get your hormones in control you are going through morethan a phase. You need some help.”If Sam was telling the truth they wouldn’t ever get my hormones back in’control’. Before we left, Doctor Wilson got Mom to agree to change myshrink and I gave silent thanks to that.As much as it scared me to think about telling anyone about my biggestsecret, events were conspiring to make it impossible to ignore.*****After the visit with Doctor Wilson I decided it was time to let thefootball coaches know I wasn’t going to be back for a while. I’m surethey had noticed my recent difficulties and weren’t too concerned tolose a player of my calibre but they did ask me if everything was ok. Ilied and I told them it was a thyroid issue that needed medication thatthe doctors said would sort itself by fall. That seemed to satisfytheir curiosity.I knew Dad was really disappointed when I told him but he agreed it wasfor the best considering my circumstances. Besides the cross countrycoach had been begging to run for him since I was in 8th grade. Ididn’t have the heart to tell Dad that my athletic career was probablyover.Everyone in the family tried to pretend that nothing was the matterwhich had a nice side affect that Mom and Lynn started talking again.One thought kept running through my head. ‘Just wait Mom. In a fewmonths all three of us can talk about our girl issues.’Damn it Sam.Chapter 7———I was determined to make the best of a bad situation. I spread theclothing from Lynn on the bedroom floor and couldn’t believe some of thestuff she’d given me. I put them into separate piles – skirts, blouses,dresses, sweaters, pants. She’d even thrown in some old panties &nighties and a bikini she didn’t want anymore. I tried not to think ofhow much use some of the items got as I put them in their own piles.After all, beggars couldn’t be choosers.I kept my door locked as I sorted everything because even though Dad wasat work, I didn’t think Mom would react well if she saw me trying onLynn’s clothing. Events of the past few days made me care a bit lessand I kept Lynn’s advice in the forefront of my mind. ‘Fuck them. Yougotta do what you gotta do’.Lynn was a few inches taller than me and certainly had a different shapeso nothing fit well. I didn’t care. I tried everything on at leastonce and I have to admit. I kind of overdosed on the experience. Iwoke a few hours later to the sound of Mom pounding on the door.”I’m busy Mom!””You have a visitor!”I was wearing one of Lynn’s old nighties though I didn’t rememberputting it on. I pulled it off along with the panties and shoved themalong with all the neat piles into my closet.”Who is it Mom?””It’s Tim!”Great. Tim was probably the last person I wanted to see but he hadalways been a good friend. I owed him an explanation.”Be there in a second.”I put on a pair of pants and a t-shirt and hurried downstairs. Tim wassitting at the kitchen counter drinking a soda.”Hey Tim how’s it going?”Tim watched as I walked down the stairs then stood and came to get acloser look. I hoped he didn’t look too close. He knew me about aswell as anyone and if someone could see the changes it was him. We’dfirst met on the junior high track team three years earlier. A goodfriendship had developed over many long runs where no one else couldkeep up. I’m not sure why. He was tall and fast. I was small andquick. He ran the quarter and the half mile. I ran the mile and twomile. He had blonde hair. I had brown. All the girls loved him andwell … you know about me.”Coach said you were quitting the team.”That wasn’t exactly the truth but everyone knew that without summerpractice, making the team was impossible. “I’m thinking about going outfor cross country instead.” It was a lie but a useful lie.Tim looked over his shoulder and saw Mom in the kitchen trying very hardto look like she wasn’t listening.”Do you have some time to talk? Like maybe we could go get something toeat.”I really didn’t want to talk but I couldn’t refuse Tim. The way thingswere going I needed all the friends I could get.”Mom is it ok….””Yes dear.”Of course she was listening.*****Tim had gotten his driver’s license just before the school year ended.When he made it to regionals in the half mile, his parents surprised himby getting him a car. It wasn’t anything great but it was anotherchange in our relationship. As he drove, he asked me a question.”So why’d you really quit the football team?””I didn’t really quit forever Tim. I’m just not strong enough to hackit right now. You’ve seen my struggles on the track lately and myperformance in the weight room. My speed got me through junior varsityfootball but that’s not enough anymore. I’m too small.””Is something going on that you aren’t tell me?”The way he said it made me think that rumors had already started. “Whatdid you hear?””I shouldn’t have to ask. You are my best friend after all.”It was nice to hear he still thought of us as best friends. We hadn’tspoken much lately. I felt my eyelids start to water. Goddamn thesehormones!”I don’t want to talk about it Tim. I haven’t told…”The words wouldn’t come out any more and I put my head on my lap and Ifelt the car come to a stop.”I’m sorry James. I didn’t I mean… shit. What ever it is you cantell me. You’ve been distant from me ever since I started dating Betsy.I tried to include you in our activities but you always say you arebusy. I don’t know what I did.””It’s not you Tim.””What is it then? Is it cancer?”The word ‘cancer’ brought a smile to my face. “Is that what people aresaying?””People are worried. When coach told us you wouldn’t be back at today’spractice it convinced everyone you have some sort of terminal disease.I had to find out.”And there it was. Some one was asking me for the truth and I had noreal good answer. He’d never believe me if I told him the truth andhe’d never believe me if I said nothing was wrong. The truth was I hadno idea what would become of me in a week … a month … a year. I waspretty sure I knew what would happen if I couldn’t reverse it. I’dstart to look like Sam the last time I’d seen him. Could I live withthat? Or was it better to ask for a cure and live like the tall versionof Sam the first time we met? Is that what I wanted? Then there wasthe matter of the third potion. Sam hadn’t explained it at all. Wouldit make me completely unrecognizable? If that were the case, how wouldanyone know me?I tried to explain, “I won’t lie and say nothing is wrong. The truth isI’m going through something difficult and I can’t explain it. It mayend up as nothing. It may be that I’m a freak. And you might never seeme again.”I think deep down Tim knew I was telling the truth because he didn’tpush for a better answer.”I already think you are a freak ‘Mouse’. A speed freak.”I gave him a dutiful laugh.”…and you’d better not leave without saying goodbye. I don’tunderstand but I guess you have your reasons.””I promise to stay in touch Tim.” Even if you don’t recognize meanymore.*****Mom gave me a curious look after Tim dropped me off but I hurried pastand locked my bedroom door behind me. I pulled my new clothing from thecloset and resorted the piles. It’s funny how quick I started to thinkof them as my clothing. I’d always wanted cute clothes and now I hadthem. I put on one of Lynn’s floral print dresses that I’d always likedthen looked at the locked door.’What good was it to have nice things if you were a prisoner?’Of course I could have worn them outside but I couldn’t bear thebacklash. Even if people knew the truth of my hormone condition, thewhispers would be deafening and there would always be stares. I betthat’s why Sam#3 changed his name.That’s how I started to think of them. Sam#1 and Sam#2 were my firsttwo visitors who looked like the man my dad always said I would become. Sam#3 was my future due to the hormones I’d already received.Sam#3 probably waited until the changes had gone far enough to bemistaken for anything but a woman and changed his name. As I wonderedhow long that had taken I realized that he said that Sam#1 & Sam#2 alsochanged their name as well. I had to be missing something.Chapter 8———After tossing and turning a few nights I finally got a good night’ssleep and since I knew Mom and Dad were giving me space it was asurprise to hear a knock on the door about 9am. I ignored the firstknock but the second sounded more insistent.I shouted, “It’s unlocked.”Lynn entered and gave my room a quick once over.”Where’s the clothing I gave you?””Hidden in the closet.”Lynn laughed. “There’s a joke in there somewhere but it’s too easy.”I threw a pillow at her in annoyance. “What do you want Lynn? Iactually was sleeping pretty sound.”She dodged the pillow with ease. “I just made some space in my closet.I thought you might want to join me while I shopped.”I thought about it. Something didn’t make sense. “Mom put you up tothis didn’t she?”Lynn smiled, “Not really but I might have borrowed her credit card. Ioverheard her telling dad last night that the doctor expects yourbreasts to grow in the next few weeks.””Great. Now I’m talking to my sister about my breasts.”She was right though. The books said men on estrogen hormones couldexpect to be similar size to their closest relatives though the rate ofgrowth varied greatly by the individual and was affected by age. Icould be expect the process to be complete in about two years. It hadbeen almost three months since Sam had given me the estrogennanomachines so it was a bit surprising I wasn’t showing already. MaybeI was a late bloomer in everything.”Can’t I use one of your bra’s?”Lynn started to laugh, “Are you k**ding? It took me a long time to growthese. You’ll need something a lot smaller.” His sister arched herback making her C cups hard to miss.I shook my head. Yep. My sister is all class. Was the innocent pre-teen I’d known completely gone?I said, “Oh all right but you are buying them.”*****Our plan at the lingerie store was simple. I played the boyfriend whoshe forced to join her shopping. Everything went as planned until Lynninsisted I join her in the dressing room.When we got there she had a cloth tape measure in her hand. “Take yourshirt off.”I shook my head no. “I’m not getting naked in front of my sister.”She shrugged as she exited and through the curtain I heard her voice.”Suit yourself. I need four measurements. Hips, waist, chest belowyour nipple and chest on the fullest part of your bust.””My bust? Really Lynn?”I only heard giggles in response.”You are enjoying this way too much.”She barked an order, “Measure, measure!”Since I had little choice, I used the soft tape measure on the widestpart of my hips, my waist, and my breast. Within a few minutes Idressed and told my sister it was ok to come back in.I gave her the numbers in rapid succession. “28 waist, 30 hip, 33chest, 34 bust”Lynn put the information into her smart phone.”That makes your bra size a 33A. Hmm. No training bra for you.””That’s not right. I have been working on the chest press forfootball.””Uh huh sure. And did you know your hip to waist ratio is closer to awoman’s than a typical guy?””Do you want me to start crying right here in the changing room Lynn?””Blame the app. See! That’s what it says.”I didn’t think she deserved an answer.As we agreed Lynn checked out while I waited outside with all the otherguys that didn’t want to be seen shopping with their girlfriends. Lynngrabbed my arm as she exited and practically skipped through the mall.She said, “Where to next honey?””Goddamn it Lynn. You are enjoying this too much.””Sorry. You know how much I love to shop. I always wanted a littlesister to corrupt.”*****We went directly to her room when we got home. Lynn didn’t buy one bralike we’d agreed, she bought three. She didn’t buy the plain fleshcolored bra I picked out but instead bought something she liked better.”That was boring. These are much better.”The bra’s were covered in lace and silk and colored red, black and blue.”I’ll never wear those. Especially that one.” I pointed at the redbra.”Oh you never know. Boys love a little color.”I shook my head in frustration.Lynn put her hands on her hips. “What? Are you going to tell that youaren’t into guys?”I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. “What??? Me … No.”Lynn smiled. “I know you. It’s cool. I have lots of gay friends.””I’m not gay!” At least that’s what Sam said.”Whatever. Put on the black one.”I shook my head.”Come on. If you put it on I will take you out to meet my friends. Iknow this cute guy that I think would be perfect for you.”Something was up. “What is going on Lynn? We haven’t been close inyears and all of a sudden we are buddies?”Lynn didn’t say anything for a while and the smile disappeared from herface. “Do you know how much I hated you growing up? James did this.James did that. Even when I was away at school all Mom and Dad couldtalk about was you. They never really liked me.””That’s not true.” Deep down I knew my sister had a point.”I’ve kind of been a bitch to you the last few years and I admit Ithought it was funny when I first heard about your gynecomastia. That’swhat it is call by the way. I looked it up. Anyway my first thoughtwas to give you some of the clothing you’d been borrowing from me andjust wait since it would only be a matter of time before Mom found themin your room. I couldn’t wait to hear the explosion.”I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Did my sister hate me that much?”Why are you telling me this?””I heard Mom and Dad talking last night and realized just how poorlythey are dealing with this. Mom’s constantly in tears and if youhaven’t noticed I think her shrink has given her enough tranquilizers tokill a small farm a****l. Dad on the other hand is acting like nothinghas changed. If the doctors don’t get this under control it is going toget bad for you. Really bad. When I heard you quit the football team Irealized how much of a bitch I was being and thought you might need afriend.””Just like that?””Just like that. I’m really sorry.”My sister put her arms around me and squeezed me tight. I couldn’tremember the last time we had hugged and really meant it. Maybe when Iwas 12? Once again my waterworks opened and the tears flowed down myface and pooled on her shoulder so I pulled away.”I’m sorry. These fucking hormones are playing havoc with my emotions.”Lynn dapped at her own eyes, “It’s ok. Will you try on the black one?For me? It’s really cute.””Oh fuck you s*s. All right.”*****I couldn’t believe I was letting her do this. I was sitting in front ofmy sister’s dressing mirror in the silky black panties and bra she hadjust bought with mom’s credit card while she gave me tips on how to puton makeup.”I don’t want to do this Lynn!””Yes you do.””But I don’t look like a girl!””I’m sure you think that but the hormones have already made quite aneffect on your appearance. No one has noticed yet because they see youevery day. I thought you looked different when I came home from schoolbut I couldn’t figure it out. I know why now.”Lynn used her smart phone to take my picture and put it up her laptop.”This is you now.”She hit a button.”This is the selfie I took of us at Christmas.”She hit a button to flip back several times. “Now, then, now, then…””I get it Lynn!”She was right. It was hard to explain but looked like slight changes inthe fat deposits on my face made it rounder. More feminine. Goddamnit!”Women’s skin has a different texture than a man’s and it’s estrogenthat gives it that look.”My sister hadn’t ever been much of a studier even in her honor rolldays. “Are you believing everything you read on the internet again?”Lynn shook her head. “Mock me if you must but it’s only another monthuntil schools starts and it’s a lot worse now than it was when I gothome. People are going to notice something as soon as they see you.””What do you want me to do about it Lynn?!?!”She screamed back, “I don’t know but if you are going to look like agirl I thought you might like to know how to really put on makeup.Please? For me?”Of course I had messed with makeup many times when she wasn’t around butthat was different. No one was around. Wearing women’s clothing andmakeup made me feel good. That didn’t mean I wanted my sister toinstruct me but she had a point. I didn’t want to think about schooland what would happen then. The k**s there were unmerciful to anyonethat was different in the least.”I don’t know Lynn. It makes me feel weird to have you here, judgingme.””I’m not judging and anyway you are going to need to get some thickerskin. People are going to notice. You need to figure out how you aregoing to react to it. Don’t you think I hear comments all the timeabout the way I dress?””Like a slut?””See who’s judging now?”I nodded. “I’m sorry. You have a point.””And for the record I’m not a slut. I just like the way dressing theway I do because I’ve met some really great people and being with themmakes me feel better. I can’t explain it.”I guess I wasn’t the only one in the family that couldn’t explain myactions.Lynn asked, “So can I do it?”I nodded.Lynn smiled and got right to work. She started with foundation andspread it all over my face. I started to say something but Lynn spokefirst.”Most girls use a lot more foundation that you’d believe. After a yearin the girl’s dorms I’ve realized that even the hottest girls skin canlook bad in the morning until they’ve put on their foundation. It evenseverything out and prepares your face for everything else.”Next came a light pink blush that she dabbed on my cheeks.”This brightens your face and helps give a more innocent look.””You don’t use this.””It suits you better.”She followed that with a pale colored concealer she put on under myeyes. As she blended it in she explained, “You’re looking a littletired. This will cover the dark circles and give you a more wide awakelook that will allow you eyes to pop.””You want my eyes to pop?””All girls want their eyes to pop. It’s an expression dummy but make upis mostly about getting guys to look at your eyes because most of themtend to look a lot lower.”I laughed. I had to admit I was enjoying this and especially because itfelt like I had my old sister back.Next came the eyeliner which she put on with a surprising light touch asopposed to the thick lines she normally wore.”Is that enough?””It works on you.”She put on a moderate about of brownish gold eyeshadow on my lids thatshe said would suit my hair.”My hair? My hair didn’t look anything like a girl’s hair.””I think you’d be surprised if you let it grow out. You hair feelsreally soft and I think it would be cute long but I wasn’t talking aboutyour hair.” She pointed to the wig stands next to her dressing table.”Oh no.”She smiled. “Oh yes. You gotta let me.”I asked, “Why am I letting you do this to me?””Because deep down you know you want it.”Deep down I knew she was right.I’d always struggled to put on mascara as it always clumped together andI had trouble keeping it only on my eyelashes. Lynn’s experienced handlifted and pulled my lashes until they stood in stark contrast to thelids of my eyes.Lynn said, “I’ve always wondered how that would look.””What do you mean?””You’ve always had such nice long eyelashes.””You do to but you use those huge false lashes?””I just like them. They’re fun.””Fun and slutty looking.”Lynn punched me in the arm.”Ouch!””Just remember your current look is in my hands.”I raised my hands in surrender.When everything had dried Lynn put on the wig. I tried to look at theresult in the mirror but she wouldn’t let me.The finishing touch was the lipstick. I’d always loved the milky smoothfeeling of lipstick on my lips. I’d even started wearing a colorsimilar to my own lip color when I thought no one would notice. Thecolor she chose was a deep red and after a few minutes she turned thechair so I could get a look.The image looking back scared me in many ways.”I don’t like it. It’s too much.””That’s because you are looking at your self as a man through theprejudice of a man’s eyes. If I showed you a picture of a girl thatlooked like this you’d think she was hot. Smoky eyeshadow, eyeliner andlipstick on a guy is weird to most people. Put the same thing on awoman and the world bows at her feet.””You really think I look good like this?”My sister laughed. “Well I’m not in to judging familial relations but Ithink you’ll pass.””Pass where?””Pass with my friends. We’re going out and they don’t judge.”I shook my head. “No way.”Like everything else that happened that day, Lynn didn’t accept no foran answer.*****It was dark when we snuck out the back door though it didn’t matter.Lynn said Mom and Dad had told her they had dinner plans and wouldn’t beback until late.The party she took me too was actually a bar.”I’m only 15, Lynn.””You are almost 16 and I started coming down here when I was youngerthan you. I know the guy that runs the place. He’s cool.”Lynn was dressed in her typical black outfit, with too much makeup and along black wig. She took me to one of the rooms in the back.One of the guys asked, “Hey Lynn, who’s the chick?”She smiled at me and I nodded.”It’s my sister.”What’s her name?”I interrupted before Lynn had a chance to speak. “Samantha but everyonecalls me Sam.”*****I can’t reliably explain much of what happened that night as thememories got blurry soon after I arrived. It wasn’t surprisingconsidering the hormones racing through my system, the fact I onlyweighed 110 lbs, or that I’d never drank much in my life. I don’tremember much after the second fruit flavored drink though Lynn laterclaimed that I spent half the night making out with a guy in the corner.I don’t remember much.What I will never forget is Mom and Dad’s reaction when we got home.They met us at the back door when we tried to sneak in a little after3am.”Where have you….”That’s when Dad noticed canlı casino siteleri my outfit. I can’t actually put into words theface I saw but it kind of turned a purplish/red color as his mouthtwisted into an angry snarl.I took a step back as he turned to face me. “What the fuck are youwearing!”I shrugged as I tried to sober up.Lynn said, “It was my idea.””Who the fuck gave you the right…”I said, “It’sh sh’ok dad. Lynn hash been gwrait today.””Have you been drinking?”I nodded.”To your rooms. Both of you. Now.”I was glad to be going to my room as I was really tired. I rememberhearing screaming coming from Lynn’s room as I fell asleep.*****When I got up the next morning I saw three large men on the sidewalkcarrying things to a nearby van. It was Lynn’s stuff.I was still wearing the small bra and panties she had bought for me anddespite the situation I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw myself in themirror. The remains of the makeup created an uneven look across my facewhich made the whole situation seem unreal. I thought I lookedridiculous but Lynn never laughed once I agreed to dress up for her. Atleast not much.I put on a t-shirt and threw on a pair of jeans and rushed to her room. I didn’t see Lynn but Dad was there taking apart her dressing table.”Go wash your damned face.”I turned around and ran to my bathroom and scrubbed like he’d ordered.The hired men took most of the morning to move Lynn’s stuff to herfriend’s apartment. When I asked dad a question his only response wasto remind me that I was grounded for the foreseeable future.Chapter 9———It took forever for Saturday to come as Mom and Dad still hadn’t decidedhow to deal with me. Their only solution so far was to say I needed tostay in my room. I was good with that as it allowed me to practice mymakeup skills like Lynn had instructed. I even tried her look a fewtimes.’Like a slut.’Tears mixed with the eyeliner as I thought of her and burnt my eyes so Iremoved it all and took another shower.*****I watched the clock as it slowly crept forward and at 8 o’clock I sawthe flash in my closet. I waited in the middle of the room wearing thecutest dress that Lynn had given me along with her wig that dad didn’trealized I kept. My makeup wasn’t anything close to what Lynn had donebut it was better than I’d done in the past. Under it all were the braand panties that covered my slow developing body. A more mature versionof me stared back from the closet door.I could see Sam was having trouble speaking when he saw my outfit. Ispoke first and tried to make a joke.”How was YOUR week?”Sam grinned, “Not as tough as yours as I recall.”I can’t explain what I felt at that exact moment but it was nice to talkto someone that understood what I was going through. Sam was at leastten years older and had already gone through all the same things I hadthat week.”You remember?””How could I forget?”There was one big difference. No one came back in his world. He had toface it alone.I said, “I think I have it all figured out but I have a few questions.””I’m sure you do. Let’s sit on the bed and I will explain.”*****Sam took a deep breath then started his story, “Let’s assume there’s asmall company in California that’s been working on things like wormholesalong with other advanced technologies and has been for many years. Youwon’t find them listed on Wall Street or ever see any minutes from theirboard meetings. It’s fully funded by an off-book governmentorganization and the only way you will hear about them is if theycontact you. In twelve years one of their teams makes a breakthroughled by a guy we’ve both met in this very room.””Sam#1.”Sam laughed. “So you do understand a bit. Am I Sam #2 in your mind?””Sam#3. Sam#2 gave me estrogen.”Sam said, “That’s not quite right but it’s close.””I don’t understand.”Sam said, “You will. Can I continue or do you have a question?”I motioned for him to continue.Sam said, “The project where he was assigned was looking for a way toallow fast space travel to other galaxies. The lead scientists didn’tunderstand the technology as the results didn’t match up to theirexpectations and the whole thing shut down. It was Sam#1 that made theconnection that the the wormhole device could also work in the 4thdimension, time. He worked after hours to modify the device so it useda relative fixed point in the first 3 dimensions to allow travel in the4th and the result was a stable portal for a short period of time.I shook my head. “My head is spinning. That made no sense.”Sam smiled, “The details aren’t important but it may make sense to yousomeday. While he worked on the project some old demons got strongerthan ever. When he made the first breakthrough he thought maybe thefuture might hold the answer to his issues. He built a prototypemachine in the house he bought from his parents.””Was he crossdressing like me?””It was more than that. You, me and Sam#1 all have a female brain andby that I mean we have a feminine gender ID. We all fought it. Sam#1fought the longest which I think only made his desperation for changethat much greater. After he made his discovery he went to a futurewhere changing your gender is much easier and more complete. Theproblem was when he tried it on himself he wasn’t happy with the resultas he felt his neural pathways too corrupted after living 30 years in aman’s body. He reverted the process and started over.””Why would he do that?””It dawned on Sam#1 that he had a time machine that could easily connectto his closet when he was a k**. He knew there were risks so as ascientist he decided to do this is a most clinical manner possible.Everything was checked and a project plan developed. When everythingwas ready, he picked a night he knew we’d be in our room. It had to beearly enough that we hadn’t started our growth spurt but late enoughthat we had started to question our sexuality. He figured the night ofthe Spring Dance in our sophomore year was perfect.”I thought back to that night. It seemed ages ago but it had only beenabout four months.”After we took the first potion he returned a few weeks later once thetestosterone blocker had done it’s job. In actuality he only waited anhour on his side but that’s where his records stop. Do you rememberthe first visit?”I nodded. “Yes.””And do you remember the second?”I nodded again. “Yes. It wasn’t that long ago.””Do you remember a change in his appearance between the two visits?””Not really.””It took a while for me to figure out but using your terminology Sam#1lived in Universe#1. My theory is his first visit was a test to seewhat would happen if he made a small change to the past. In universe#1,testosterone levels dipped for about a month then returned to normal.That meant no permanent change happened and the universe returned to itsbaseline. When he gave us the estrogen enhancers….”I knew the answer to this one. After all the results sat on the bedbeside me. “We were changed forever! What happened to him?””I don’t know. It seems you spent some time this week learning abouttime travel. Have you ever heard about multiverse theory?”I shook my head no.”It’s not important but my working theory is when Sam#1 changed his ownpast by giving us the estrogen it created a paradox and destroyed hisuniverse or created a new one. All I know is he gave me the estrogenpotion and I took a drink. When I looked back to where he was standinghe was gone. I never saw him again. I doubt we will ever know forsure.””He died?””As far as we are concerned yes. He died and you could say we were bornthat day.””But how are you here? Did you replicate his work?””In part, on my 18th birthday I got an interesting summons where alawyer explained that a large trust had been set up in my name by a ladynamed Samantha Jane Baker.””That’s your name! How is that possible?””It’s also the name Sam#1 used when he decided to live a woman. Wedidn’t see his other visits but as a scientist he tried to plan foreverything including using ‘insider knowledge’ make a small fortune ininvestments. It was a good thing because my hormones and genetics werein opposition and I couldn’t earn an athletic scholarship like he did toget into Stanford. The documents he left laid a blueprint for me tofollow to finish his work.””Did you have to follow it? I mean it had to piss you off that hemessed with your hormones then never came back?””I was plenty angry all through high school but I felt better when I gothis letters. It explained what had happened to me and it wasn’t like heplanned to create a paradox. He didn’t know for sure what would happenand it wasn’t as bad as I learned to accept myself. Using his data anda lot of hard work I was able to get into UCLA then CalTech and thenwork in the same secret government lab. When the project failed thistime I was able to set up a similar setup in this house. Two weeks ago,I went to the future and got the third potion he planned to use on us.””What does that mean? You mentioned the third potion on your lastvisit.””The gender switch nanites are a two step process that takes four tofive months to complete. The estrogen nanites are needed to create anenvironment so the ‘third’ potion has a fertile place in which tothrive.””What does the third ‘potion’ do?””Scientists are doing a lot of research into gene therapy right now andthat will continue over the next decade but it’s nothing compared towhat Sam#1 found in the future. These nanites enter your system andmake changes at a cell level changing your XY chromosomes into a XX.Once that’s complete it starts a second phase that remolds your body toits genetic instructions. Gene therapy has all but eliminated cancerbut it’s had a secondary use for people like us that’s very popular inthe future. From what I’ve read going TG is even the new hip thing foryoung couples in the year 2093. I’ve got a few brochures on it if youare interested. Anyway, the results are nearly 100% successful if yourbody has readied itself with the proscribed three months of estrogentherapy before ingesting the ‘XX’ nanites. After that it’s just amatter of following the instructions so the nanites can do their work.”I said, “?But that will … I mean … if I take the potion … you will… you won’t be back.”Sam shrugged, “We all have our parts to play.””I won’t do it. That’s not fair to you.”Sam nodded, “I’ve given this a lot of thought over the years. I evenconsidered taking the 3rd potion myself a few times.””Why don’t you?””I could but things aren’t that simple. I want to spare you the pain.””But you are me!””I’m you 14 years from now. That’s a big difference. Some scars neverheal no matter how hard we try. It’s why Sam#1 came back in the firstplace.””Is it our parents? I will run away!””If you change my future based on information I give you, it will createa paradox anyway. I knew what I was getting into when I entered thewormhole.””I won’t do it. Tell me what to do. I don’t want you to leave. Youare the only one that understands!””You need to understand why I came back. You need to understand whathappens to Lynn. It’s why I’ve worked for the last 10 years to get thethird potion.”The mention of my sister’s name got my attention. “What do you mean?””Sam#1 was worried that there might be some slight changes to the worldaround him so he documented everything before he started. The Lynn inhis universe graduated from college with a degree in graphic design.She was happily married and worked from home while she took care of herthree k**s.”I smiled at the description. Lynn? A housewife and mom?Sam smiled back. “I know. I thought it was funny too. Remember howLynn got kicked out of the house in our universe? That didn’t happen inSam#1’s world. We never were diagnosed with gynecomastia in Sam#1’sworld. She never had a reason to empathize with us and in Sam#1’suniverse they were never close.”I shook my head. “What does that matter?”Sam looked at the floor, “Mom and Dad stopped paying for her college andshe had to drop out of school. About two years from now she’s workingthe late shift at the diner. A man tries to mug her as she walks homeonly she fights back. She dies on the way to the hospital.””No!!! Is it because of us?”Sam nodded. “In a sense.””Then change it!””I can’t. I can set up the tools but someone from this time has to bethe catalyst. If I do too much to affect my future it will create aparadox. I’ve run all the simulations and there is only one solutionwhere I’m sure Lynn is safe and we have a happy future. The catalysthas to be you. You have to do it after I’ve create a paradox anddisappeared.”I closed my eyes. “I won’t do it.””It’s ok James. I accepted my fate a long time ago. I can’t stay hereanyway and the more often I visit the more likely I can cause damage.We’ve done enough already.”I felt like he wasn’t giving me a choice. “Will it hurt?”Sam laughed, “No more than football practice I’d expect.””Where will I go once the nanites start working? Mom and Dad arefreaked out enough as it is. I think I’m grounded for the nextcentury.”Sam said, “A very good question. I’ve rented you a place not from hereto complete the change. Here’s the address and key to your new placeand some cash until you get settled. I’ve put everything Sam#1s gave mealong with all my records in case you want to follow up on our research.Don’t feel obligated. Live however you want. Your options arelimitless.””What about Mom and Dad? They won’t recognize me.”Sam pulled down his shirt and I saw what I assumed was a mastectomyscar. “In time you will wish they’d kicked you out like they did toLynn. I did whatever I could to please them but in the end I wasnothing but an embarrassment. I like to think they’d be proud of mywork with the government but it’s top secret so they don’t even knowwhat I do. We haven’t spoken in ten years.”I gave Sam a grim nod. It appeared he’d had a tough, lonely life.Sam brightened, “Doctor Wilson is cool though. Try to sure you stay intouch with her if you can. She’s great.””What about Tim? How’d he react to the changes?”Sam didn’t answer for a second. “He was nicer than most. It justwasn’t meant to be you know? Maybe you’ll have better luck.”Sam removed a bottle from the case she’d brought.”It’s time. No more delays.””What will happen to you?””I don’t know but I will say that today is the happiest I’ve been in along long time.”It seemed like there were no other options but to do as Sam asked. Thesad spectre of doing nothing stood before me. I put the vial to mylips.I said, “Thanks for everything Samantha.”She smiled as I said her real name for the first time and started torespond.”You’re wel…”She disappeared as I took the first sip.Chapter 9———I waited until the next morning when Mom and Dad left for church beforecalling the cab. I filled a suitcase with the clothes that Lynn hadgiven me and a few other keepsakes I didn’t want to forget. I heard thehonk outside and I dropped a letter in a neighbor’s mailbox.It started:’Dear Tim, I’m sorry for not doing this in person but I have myreasons. You won’t see me again and I’m sorry to have to break mypromise…”The cab dropped me off at the apartment which thankfully Sam had theforesight to furnish. Instructions were sitting on the counter.========================================================================James,I’ve attached your new driver’s license, social security card and birthcertificate to this note. The car’s in the garage. Lynn should stop byin a few days but she doesn’t know a thing. Important documents are inthe file cabinet. Everything else is on the computer.Sam========================================================================There was another note for Lynn. I put it to the side for when shearrived.I smiled when I saw the name on my drivers license: Samantha Jane BakerIII. The picture looked like a morph of me and Lynn though she hadblonde hair. I guess I needed to get some dye. I wondered how accurateit would be once the changes were done.It was hard to tell if the potion was working but I knew somethingdidn’t feel right. Of course I hadn’t felt right in months.Sam was a scientist to the end and had set up a computer program in thenext room with a place to enter measurements so I could keep track ofthe changes. The first thing I did was enter the information I’dremembered from my day of shopping with Lynn.========================================================================BaselineWeight:110, Height:64”, Waist: 28, Hips: 30, Chest: 32, Bust: 33========================================================================Sam’s program had places for a lot more information with lots of chartsand projections. Next to the computer desk was an electronic scalealong with a fancy type of electronic tape measure that claimed it wasaccurate to 3 decimal points. I was curious to see if anything washappening so I undressed and tried it out.========================================================================Day 1 -?? 11:00AMWt:114.3 Ht:63.6 Wst:27.6 Hip:29.9 Chst:31.8 Bust:32.6 Fat:8.4%Temp:98.5Note – First test!========================================================================The computer said it didn’t have enough information to make aprojection. That made sense as there wasn’t much variation from themeasurement I’d taken on Thursday. I did notice the weight was higherthan the last time I’d weighed myself. The estrogen coursing through mysystem was great at helping to accumulate fat on women’s hips, thighsand ass so it probably explained the fat percentage. I doubted if itwere much over 2% a few months ago. Other than that there didn’t appearto be any changes. Were the nanomachines really rewriting my geneticcode? The mere thought put me in a panic but I’d left all my anti-anxiety medication at home.Thought of the word ‘home’ made my panic worse. Was this my home now?Of course I could chicken out and go back to Mom & Dad but how wouldthat work? Every morning I’d look a little different until eventuallymy parent’s wouldn’t recognize me. Then there were the doctors. If Iwent to the doctors again, they’d start genetics testing too and I’dnever get out of their labs as they tried to figure out what waschanging me. Sam was scarred from just the experience with justestrogen nanites. Imagine how my parents and doctors would react ifother parts of me started changing.The mere thought of it made me shudder.It was only a month. No one would recognize me then. Sam#3 had it muchworse.========================================================================Day 4 – 6:00 PMWt:114.1 Ht:63.6 Wst:27.6 Hip:29.9 Chst:31.8 Bust:32.6 Fat:8.1%Temp:98.7Note – No change!The results have been the same for days. I started testing once an hourbut after seeing the same thing each time I switched to every six hours.I’m so bored. Where is Lynn? I thought the Sam’s note said she wasgoing to join me.Sam put a camera on the table for me to take self portraits to documentthe changes and I’d taken a few but it was really embarrassing. Onethought drove me – Who would I be when everything was done? The thoughtthat I was losing myself gave me a determination to do things that Iwould have never considered a month ago. Pictures – Front, side, andback. I even did it in the nude. It’s so embarrassing. I hope I neverhave to show anyone these pictures but I think it’s the only way I willever be able to convince anyone of the truth if I ever decide to gopublic.========================================================================I read and reread the booklet that Sam had left that explained theprocess. Every bottle had approximately a billion nanomachines andevery body had over 60 trillion cells. Each nanomachine was programedto investigate a cell, look for defects and correct them to itsprogramming. Nanomachines had all but wiped out cancer and autoimmunediseases in its day along with less life threatening gene disorders likemale pattern baldness and color blindness. The brochure didn’t say howlong each machine took but at 1 cell per second I calculated it wouldtake approximately 16 hours.Obviously it was taking longer than a second. On a positive note ifthis worked I’d never have to worry about going bald. The brochure saidthe process could take as little as two weeks and as long as a monthdepending on the readiness of the patient’s body. All I knew is it wasfrustrating to wait.I turned on the television in hopes taking my mind off it but saw Mom’sface staring back. The crawl on the bottom of the screen caught myattention. “Please send my son back to me.” They were playing it likea k**napping. I wonder if they mentioned our fight to the cops.I wondered when that was going to happen. I’d changed cabs twice on myway to the apartment as I figured the cops would eventually start amissing person search. I looked on the internet and the story made nomention of my condition or that I might be mentally unstable. They evenused one of my old football pictures from the previous year and thedifference on the screen from when I looked in the mirror surprised me. Mom & Dad had to know it would be more difficult to find me with thatpicture as the estrogen had already changed my appearance. Maybe theynever noticed the changes. It was more likely they were more afraid ofrevealing my secret than doing everything to find me. Poor Sam. I bethe really had it rough.========================================================================Day 8 -?? 2:13 AMWt:113.1 Ht:63.8 Wst:27.6 Hip:29.8 Chst:31.8 Bust:32.7 Fat:7.6%Temp:100.7Note – Woke up in a sweat. Something is happening.I woke up early feeling a general hotness through my entire body. Ihaven’t been eating much lately but I now I am really thirsty. I thinkthe nanomachines are almost done with phase 1. Am I a genetic girl now?Too tired to give it much thought.================================================================================================================================================Day 8 – 6:00AMWt:114.0 Ht:63.8 Wst:27.7 Hip:29.9 Chst:31.8 Bust:32.7 Fat:7.6%Temp:100.9Note – Still hot. Peeing a lot.I’ve been running a fever all night and doing this by myself is a badidea. Where’s Lynn? I’ve also started keeping all my pee. I know it’sgross but Sam left instructions that I should do this from thebeginning. It seemed stupid then I started thinking about thenanomachines and how much they could help people. They have to gosomewhere and my thirst makes me think they are in my urine. Someonemight be able to study them someday if they survive. It’s for science!(but still gross).My head keeps pounding and it feels like I’m going to throw up. I needan assistant and there’s only one person that I could possibly trust.Where’s Lynn?========================================================================Feeling desperate, I put on the wig Lynn gave me along with one of hermore nondescript outfits then coated my face with lots of dark makeup soit looked like something she might wear. It didn’t look great but Ididn’t think it was too bad when you consider I have a billionnanomachines eating at my insides. Besides, it was just so no one wouldrecognize me.I knew the police were looking but it wasn’t like they had hundreds ofextra manhours to search for a runaway. They’d probably just do acursory search and come up empty. If they were ambitious they might tryto follow the taxi but I’d made two switches to make that moredifficult. They might find the right neighborhood but they’d have to bereally lucky to find the apartment before I changed. I knew I wastaking a chance going out in public but I had to do something. Sam saidthere was a car in the garage. Even though somehow I now had a driverslicense in reality I hadn’t passed the driver’s test. I had to risk it.I heard a knock on the door just as I was finishing getting dressed.’Oh shit!’ Had they found me?I deepened my voice and shouted through the closed door.”Hullo?””Um… you said… you needed a person to clean your place? For $200? I know I’m a few days late but I was wondering if you …”It was Lynn! I opened the door.She gave a confused look, “James?”I nodded.”Nice outfit.” The sarcasm in her voice was unmistakeable. “What’sgoing on?”Chapter 10———-I handed Lynn the note that Sam had addressed to her. Her eyes wentwide as she thumbed through the attached stack of prepaid credit cards.”There must be a few thousand dollars here. You know what that means!”I shook my head.”It means it’s time to go shopping and plan a big party!””You can’t tell anyone about this place Lynn. At least not yet.””I’m joking. How many times do I need to agree to keep this secretJames?””I’m just a little paranoid.””So I’ve noticed but what’s really going on? Are you really thinking ofrunning away and how’d you find this place?”It was 12:45. Lynn and I had been talking for a while. I was runninglate and started to undress.”Can’t talk now.””What are you doing?””Can you measure me?””What’s going on James? Two weeks ago you wouldn’t let me measure youin a dressing room and now you just take of your shirt and want me totake measurements?””Just do it.””Hey you are finally getting your boobies!””Lynn!”========================================================================Day 8 – 12:50 PMWt:113.5 Ht:63.8 Wst:27.7 Hip:29.9 Chst:31.8 Bust:32.9 Fat:7.2%Temp:101.3Note – I’m not feeling good. Lynn’s here. Going to bed.========================================================================”Are you really running a fever of 101?”Yeah.””You should be in bed.””No shit.”I slept most of the afternoon but the smell from the kitchen woke me up.A large pot of spaghetti was on the stove when I entered. I saw Lynn inthe next room playing with the computer and watching television.She turned when I entered the room, “Do you feel better?””A little. I think I’m running a temperature.””So when are you going to tell me what’s really going on James?””It’s hard to explain. I don’t know where to begin.””How about why you have a container full of pee in the bathroom?”I laughed. “It’s a real long story and one I would have told you beforeif I thought there was a chance you’d believe me. I barely believe itand I’m living it.””Why don’t you start at the beginning while I put supper on the table?”I nodded and took a deep breath. “All right. It started the night ofthe Spring Dance. I was laying on my bed and there was a flash…”*****”So let me get this straight. You are saying I died.””Yes.””But not for two years.””But I also am a housewife living in the suburbs?”I smiled. “Yes.””I don’t believe it.””It was alternate universes Lynn. It’s not this one.”She shook her head. “And in this one you are changing into a girl.””My guess is if they did a DNA test on me right now, it would come backfemale. All that is left is the outside. Which still hurts for whatit’s worth.”Lynn looked at the clock, “Ooh. Time for another measurement. Take offyour clothes. You probably should have waited to eat.”========================================================================Day 8 – 600 PMWt:115.5 Ht:63.8 Wst:27.7 Hip:29.9 Chst:31.9 Bust:32.9 Fat:7.1%Temp:101.5Note – Ate just before test.========================================================================She said, “It’s not much different than the last one James.””Lynn?””Yeah.””Can you start calling me Samantha?”Lynn gave me a funny look. “Samantha Baker?””Yeah that’s my alias. I need to get used to it.””I was wondered why casino şirketleri that name was on all over the computer. There’s atrust in that name for when you turn 18 with over $12 million in it.Did you know that?”I shook my head. “No.””… there’s also a bunch of bank accounts in both our names. Thisplace is in my name and the rent has been pre-paid for the next 3 years.I’ve even got a job working for some trust company. I’ve got to call alawyer. He knows all about it and is supposed to help me set up yourguardianship.””Guardianship?””It didn’t make a lot of sense when I first read the note. You are aminor and there’s no way Mom and Dad would let you live with me. But Iguess Sam … I guess you had your reasons. We need to visit the lawyeras soon as possible.””Can we take care of the changes first? I really don’t feel good Lynnand we need to keep a low profile. Can you imagine what people would doif they found out the truth?””This is all new to me as well James … err Sam … err uh god this isso weird. I’m trying to process it all.””Imagine if you were in my shoes.””Umm speaking of shoes, those have to go.”I was wearing a pair of my most comfortable Chuck Taylors. “What wrongwith my these?”She had a big smile on her face. “The fact that you don’t know tells meI have lots of work to do.”*****Lynn woke me out of a deep sleep. I could see the worry on her face.”What’s wrong?””You were screaming and it was starting to scare me.”I could barely keep my balance as I made my way to the bathroom. Icouldn’t see any change in my face when I looked in the mirror but thenI’d be the last person to notice. My arms, chest, and legs reminded meof a picture of starving c***dren in Africa. It probably wasn’t thatbad but it was obvious I’d lost a lot of muscle mass.Lynn noticed too and returned with one of the protein drinks Sam hadstocked in the refrigerator.”How many of these have your drank today?”I shook my head. “I haven’t had any. I’ve been putting on weight andmy body fat is getting too high.Lynn shouted at me, “That’s the problem you idiot. Sam’s instructionssaid you needed to drink one every hour hours. Don’t you understandanything about food? Pasta = Starch = Energy. If you don’t need theenergy then the body turns it to fat. Protein = Amino acids = thefucking building blocks of life. Which one do you think you need rightnow?””You were the one that made pasta for dinner.””There were meatballs too and besides, I thought you were also drinkingthe protein drinks!” She opened two. “Chug.””I don’t feel good Lynn.””Chug!”The look in Lynn’s eyes reminded me of the parent she was supposed toeventually become. I couldn’t help but laugh a little.”It’s not funny Sam. Drink!”I finished one and had almost finished the other when she came back inwith two more.”Drink!””I’m full Lynn.””Drink!”I could see she was in no mood to argue and drank the other even thoughit felt like I might get sick at any time.”Now bed!”I started to argue as Lynn was really starting to sound like mom but Iwas too tired to tell her.Chapter 11———-I felt myself floating as I looked down on the man sleeping in my bed.He seemed familiar but I couldn’t place him. The first thing I noticedwas a slight red glow that seemed to come from inside him and it grew instrength every moment. I placed a hand on his forehead but withdrew itjust as fast as he felt hot to the touch. He started to speak but Iplaced a finger on my lips. A simple nod from me was all he needed toknow that we were of like minds. I ran a hand through his hair andfound it soft to the touch. He smiled and put a hand behind my neck todraw me near then placed a chaste kiss on my lips.His smell was intoxicating and I could not help myself as I turned myhead and opened my mouth slightly. His tongue tasted minty as itflitted into my mouth. An involuntary shudder ran up my spine and Iclosed my eyes as I went back for another kiss.He rolled me onto my back then bent his head and I felt his hot breathon my neck. I felt myself stirring as his hand touched my breast. Apink glow filled the room as the light inside him grew in intensity withevery action.The light dimmed a bit when he pulled back but I could still see theoutline of his face. His lips looked bigger than I remembered butneither of us were in any mood for questions.I felt air on my breasts as a hand released the clasp on my bra and thelips that had held my attention parted to show a smile hidden beneath.The warmth of his touch on my breast brought unfamiliar sensations and Ibit my lip so as not to scream.Something seemed wrong when I looked at my chest. Two nipples stoodprominent from the flat surface but the man didn’t seem to care. A softhand stroked one and a feeling that began in my core radiated outward.I closed my eyes to bask in the feeling when I felt a tongue touch mybreast. I screamed in delight. I felt a slight tug on my chest andwhen I regained my senses I saw the man pinching my chest though Ibarely felt it. The warmth that begin at his touch, swelled in my chestand I felt the weight as I watched the mounds rise. He looked on in aptappreciation for a moment then used his tongue to send another wave ofecstasy through my nerve ending until I screamed as my fingers and toescurled in delight.I’d lost all comprehension of time but he brought me back with anotherkiss to my lips and I felt the pressure on my chest as we embraced. Myface felt hot as he caressed my breast again then placed slow passionatekisses to my forehead, cheeks, and mouth.Through it all I felt the first response to my manhood in months. Withevery touch and every embrace it grew until the pain blocked outeverything else. He must have noticed it too as I felt the silk of mypanties move against my skin as he pulled them down my leg.I arched my back in anticipation but he returned to my breast as hiswarm breath made me tingle there in a way I’d never thought possible. Isquirmed as he slowly made his way down my stomach and I screamed infrustration as I felt the flit of tongue near by navel.His kisses brought forth the familiar warmth throughout my waist and itradiated to my hips. I didn’t think I could take much more and when hebriefly licked me I think I might have passed out for a second. When Iregained my senses he was straddling me and I gave a frantic nod that weshould begin.I entered him moments later, slow at first and then faster until wemoved in unison and our bodies felt as one. Our eyes locked and hisgaze seemed to envelop me but my attention moved to the base of myspine. The heat in my body seemed to center on that spot and as itmoved forward it was hard to tell where he started and I ended. Everythrust of his hips felt odd as it seemed I was pressing deep in hisloins and as a series of shudders took me, I could hear nothing else butthe sound of a loud crack in my pelvis and my own high pitch screams.Light filled the room and I grabbed him tight as he continued to enterme over and over. I wrapped my legs around his back and didn’t think Icould take it much longer until I saw the change on his face just asanother set of convulsions took me. As we screamed in unison, I feltour bodies merge until moments later I found myself alone, sweating inthe darkness.*****Sweat dripped from my face and I started to reach for my glasses butclearly saw the clock across the room read 3:23am. Lynn was sprawled ina chair at the foot of my bed.I asked, ‘Was that a dream?”Lynn opened her eyes and smiled, “How are you feeling?”I put a hand to my breast and felt a small lump that wasn’t there when Iwent to sleep. “Weird.””I’m sure.” She handed me a protein drink and I didn’t dare argue as Idowned in one long drink.I put a hand to my forehead, “I think my fever has broken.”Lynn nodded, “I think so too. Your temperature was down when I measuredit at midnight.””You did measurements while I slept?”She nodded. “I figured you’d want me too.”I asked, “I guess. Pictures too?Lynn nodded.”That’s a bit creepy Lynn. So what’s the verdict?””We can talk about it in the morning. You need your sleep.”Lynn was using the ‘I will be obeyed’ voice that was quickly becomingannoying. I was pretty tired and I remembered the dream. I smiled as Iplaced a hand on top of each breast and thought back. I was pretty sureit wasn’t anything more than a fever dream but it was so vivid I doubt Iwould ever forget it entirely. I hoped I might have it again.Chapter 12———-Light was streaming into the room when I woke and Lynn was no where tobe seen.I hung my legs over the side of the bed saw two slender legs that nearlytouched the ground. As I stood I felt a slight bounce on my chest andsaw flesh straining my ‘A’ cup bra. Lynn must have heard me and gave mea queer look as she stood in the doorway.I said, “I’m scared Lynn.””I know but you need to get up. It’s almost time for anothermeasurement.”I felt unsteady on my feet as my legs felt different and my hips feltweird. I held the wall as I took a first tentative step and thenanother as I made my way through the door.Lynn was watching as I made my way across the room and couldn’t help butcomment, “It’s like watching a baby deer take it’s first steps. It’shard to believe you are a long distance running champ last week.””Shut up Lynn this isn’t easy.””I know. I’m trying to lighten the mood.”As I made my way past the kitchen I tried to walk more with my hips andless with my knees. It seemed easier that way. Lynn pointed to thescale when I finally made it to the computer desk.I asked her, “Are you going to tell me what happened last night?””When you are done.”I stood on the scale and waited until it gave a reading. “115.1 lbs.””Good. You are still gaining weight.”I shrugged and didn’t state the obvious that it was probably all in mychest.It seemed like Lynn was read my mind. “You need to take your bra off.””Why?””Well first it’s way too small and second I need to get a bettermeasurement. This was a pain to do while you slept. Thankfully youwere too exhausted to wake up.” I noticed a wry smile had crept ontoher lips.I reached behind my back with a flexibility I hadn’t had before andunfastened the clasp. My breasts fell slightly and I felt the cool airas they came to a rest. Both were cone shaped and one looked biggerthan the other.I covered myself with both hands. “Lynn?”Lynn didn’t answer and used the measuring device for my height, mywaist, around my hips, under my breast, and then moved my hands so shecould measure my bust.She started to enter the information into the computer as I felt paniccoming. I couldn’t take my eyes off of my pointy chest and flatstomach. “Lynn?””I know they might look weird right now but it’s totally normal.Sometimes they look like that when breasts first grow. They will getrounder and even out in time.””Are you sure?”Lynn nodded as she finalized the data.Her confidence didn’t make me feel much better but I decided to changethe subject to take my mind off of it. “You are getting pretty goodwith that thing.”She replied, “I studied computer science at school.”I nodded though I hadn’t known. Lynn turned the computer screen to faceme so I could see the results. Obviously there were lots of changes.========================================================================Day 9 -?? 0:00, 06:00, 12:00Wt:113.8 Ht:64.5 Wst:27.8 Hip:30.4 Chst:31.9 Bust:33.5 Fat:8.0%Temp:100.6Wt:114.6 Ht:65.3 Wst:27.8 Hip:31.4 Chst:31.9 Bust:34.0 Fat:8.5% Temp:99.8Wt:115.1 Ht:66.1 Wst:27.9 Hip:32.2 Chst:31.9 Bust:34.4 Fat:9.1% Temp:98.6Note -? Big changes overnight! Temperature dropping.========================================================================”I’m 5’6”? Awesome!””That’s all you have to say?””Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for my growth spurt?”Lynn said, “Do you realize you have tits? You look like a solid B cupright now.”I blushed and nodded. “This is all too new. I feel weird. I don’teven want to check out the other things.”Lynn snapped a picture of my naked body. I didn’t dare look down. “Weneed to. I’m going to call my gynecologist to set up an appointment butwe need to make sure the change is complete. I think most of it tookplace last night but we will wait just to make sure.” She turned thecomputer screen so I could see the changes but I turned away.”I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.””You need to see… ” A knock at the door interrupted our conversation. Lynn looked at me and I shrugged.She ordered, “Go to the bedroom.”I made my way across the room as fast as I could then stood next to mybedroom door and tried to listen to the conversation. I couldn’t makeout the words but heard shouting.A little while later I heard a familiar voice call, “James!”I grabbed a blanket from off the bed to cover myself as the voice grewcloser. “Are you in there James?”I tried to run into the bathroom but my legs wouldn’t move that fast andMom opened the door before I could get around the corner. Neither of usspoke for a few seconds as she stared at my blanket covered body. Sheturned to Lynn who stood redfaced in the bedroom door.Mom said, “Who is this slut?The words felt like a punch to the gut.Lynn said, “Like I said, she’s my roommate Samantha. Samantha meet mymom.”I couldn’t talk for a second as I tried to find my voice.The words came out in an odd tone, “Nice meeting you ma”??am.”Mom checked the bathroom and closet then turned and walked out of theroom. Lynn winked at me as she passed then gave Mom the smug look I’dseen a thousand times before. “I told you James isn’t here Mom but Iwill tell him you called if I see him.””There is a naked picture of that girl up on your computer and thisplace smells of sex and stale cigarettes Lynn. I always told you if youweren’t careful you were going to become a whore and it looks like it iscoming true.””I’m doing ok Mom. You’ll see.”The sound of the door slamming shut ended the conversation.A few seconds later Lynn popped her head in the room with a glisten inher eyes. “Mom called.”I shook my head. “So I saw. What just happened?”Lynn held up her cell phone. “Mom tracked me. I wondered why theyhadn’t turned it off after they disowned me the other day. I guess itcame in handy. One more thing for my to do list.”I felt a tear come to my eye. “Mom didn’t recognize me. And she was somean!””I’ve told you not to worry about what she thinks but you really need totake a look in a mirror to understand why she didn’t recognize you.Close your eyes.”Lynn led me to the bathroom and turned on the light. “Ok now open youreyes.”The person looking back was nothing like I expected. The girl had shortblonde hair framing a small freckled face, pale blue eyes, a slight caseof acne, and lips that looked too large for her mouth. Long thin armshung from her slumped shoulders and her hands quickly covered bothbreasts. Her midsection had the firm look of someone who worked out andas I turned I saw that the black panties covered ample hips and an assthat was undoubtedly female. The long legs of a runner struggled tohold everything upright.”Oh god!”Lynn cooed, “You’re purty but don’t slouch. That isn’t attractive.”I arched my back so I stopped slouching but it felt like I was trying tostick my boobs out. I returned to my former posture. “You’re justsaying that. I’m not pretty at all! I’m all gangly. And how did I getblonde hair? And blue eyes?”Lynn shrugged. “You’re asking me? I couldn’t believe it when I saw itchange as you slept and then I about fainted when I saw your eyes whenyou woke up.””No wonder Mom didn’t recognize me.”Lynn said, “My guess is your future self thought blondes have more fun. Hair and eye color are controlled by genetics you know. Your futureself is such a little perv!”I thought about it. “That makes sense. The genetics part not the pervpart. I wonder if he changed anything else?” I saw my glasses clearlyon my bedside table across the room and looked at the clock. 12:20 PM.Lynn answered, “Only time will tell but now you need to take a shower.””I don’t think I can do that yet Lynn.””I don’t care. I didn’t want to say anything earlier but you stink bad.I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t call the cops with all the screamingyou did last night. Mom was right about one thing. Your room doessmells like a whorehouse.”Images of my dreams flashed through my mind and I watched the cheeksredden on the blonde in the mirror. “Was it bad?””To be honest I was jealous. After a while, it sounded like you werehaving lots of fun but you need to clean up. I’ll go make lunch and wecan decide what to do after that.”I couldn’t take my eyes off the girl in the mirror. “I don’t think Ican deal with this Lynn. This is too much. I don’t know what to do. Idon’t know how to act.”Lynn answered, “Just act how you act. There are no rules. Most 15 yearold girls don’t have a clue how to act either. But right now I need youto … TAKE … A … SHOWER!!! I hope I don’t need to say it again.””God you are getting annoying Lynn.”Lynn said, “I think you’ll be better at this than you realize. You arealready starting to get on my nerves like a 15 year old girl.””Whatever.”*****The shower felt good on my skin though I tried to ignore the blonde tuftof hair that I could see below my waistline as I washed. The water feltespecially odd as it hit my chest and I spent a few minutes laughing asI poked myself over then watched them bounce.’If the guys on the football team could only see me now.’Actually I thought most of them would like that and as much as myanxiety was at out of control I had to admit I loved what had happened. Images of showering with the boys on the team flashed in my head and Ifelt the first tingle I remembered from my dream the night before.My hand had a mind of its own. I slowly reached down past familiarterritory into the unknown and a fold of skin that already felt wet.”Oh god, Mom’s right. I am a slut!”I grabbed the body sponge and the shower gel then scrubbed myself fromhead to toe then dried as quick as I could. I squeezed myself into thered bra with matching panties and pulled a couple of outfits from thecloset but nothing seemed right.I shouted out the door, “Lynn?”I heard her voice, “Yeah?””I don’t know what to wear.”I heard the sound of laughter. A few seconds later Lynn popped her headin the room. “What’s wrong with that pink outfit? It would look cuteon you.””I don’t know.”You didn’t have a problem with it a few days ago. What’s wrong now?””I wasn’t going to leave my bedroom a few days ago. I’d like somethinga little longer.””Women’s clothing always covers a lot less compared to men’s. Have youever seen a man’s leggings, even in summer, shorter than his knees?Women’s clothing on the other hand are routinely shorter than kneelength, even in wintertime. You will get used to showing your calves,thighs, shoulders, arms, and midriff. Men tease us about how much weobsess about our weight but society dictates we show more skin. It allgoes with the delight of being a woman. Now try on the pink outfit.””That’s not fair. Can’t I wear jeans or something?””You don’t have any jeans. What’s wrong Samantha? Where did the persongo that kept wearing my stuff all last year?I pointed at my body. “This is just a lot and it isn’t what I expected.I don’t look right and I’m sticking out all over.”Lynn shook her head. “Wow. ??You’ve been in a girl’s body for lessthan a day and you already have body image issues. You look good foryour age Samantha. You’ll see. When you grow into those legs and arms,the boys will flock to your door. Besides all they are interested inare that and those.” She pointed at my crotch and chest.”But that’s a problem too.” I lowered my voice. “Do you know how hardit was for me on the football team? All those guys surrounding me inthe shower? I would have gotten pummelled if anyone knew what I wasthinking all the time but I’m still having those thoughts. It’s evenstronger in some ways.”Lynn asked, “Do you think girls want sex any less than boys?”I shrugged. “It’s ok for boys. There’s a name for girls that like sextoo much. Mom called me one before she left.”Lynn smiled, “Look I understand but thinking is not doing and there’snothing wrong with thinking about it. Sex dominated most of theconversations in my girls dorm last year.””Mom was always yelling at you not to get too close to boys.”Lynn did her best Mom impersonation as she walked out the door, “There’sa good reason called pregnancy and we will talk about that later younglady. Get dressed. Your lunch is getting cold.”I pulled the skirt up over my hips and tried to ignore that my ass hadstretched the fabric and now was on display for the entire world to see.The top had been loose the last time I wore it but now the pleatsextended to accommodate my new anatomy.I looked in the mirror and it didn’t look too bad. I arched my back tostop my shoulders from slouching which made my breast seem even moreprominent. The clothing supported my frame in a way that made me lookolder and extenuated my features. I couldn’t help but smile.Lynn called out from the kitchen. “Are you about ready Sam?””In a minute.” I looked at myself in the mirror and decided with theright outfit and a little bit of makeup I might be considered cute. Itwas hard to tell.”Come on Sam!”I hurried to the kitchen and sat at the table.”I told you that outfit would look cute on you.””I guess.””I will let you in on a secret Samantha. Everyone, boys and girls, menand women, even the most handsome person you see on television …everyone has body issues. That’s why there’s so many different types ofclothing. Why do you think I spent all that time shopping when I wasyour age?”I nodded. “I guess that makes sense.””It’s because it is the truth. I will take you shopping and we willfind you some things you like. Every outfit looks different on everywoman because our curves define us. It’s why we shop. It’s why we tryon each other’s clothing. Each outfit lets us reinvent ourselves andhelps us accept our differences. You will see.”Something was bothering me. “Lynn?””Yeah?””Why are you being so nice to me?””It’s hard to explain. You should probably read this.” She passed methe note Sam#3 had left for her.========================================================================Dear Lynn:I’ve put this apartment in your name and stocked it with enough food tolast a month. I’ve made arrangements beyond that and you will find theall the details on the computer and in the file cabinet.James can give you the details of why I’m doing this but my biggestconcern when I decided to help him is that he is only 15 years old andneeded someone to lean on for support. That person has to be you. Ihope you don’t think this is an unfair imposition and I’ve tried to setboth of you up for the best chance for a happy life.You don’t know how happy I was to spend some time with you at the dinertoday even if you didn’t remember me. Your constant support meant morethan anything to me through all my dark times and it is one of mydeepest regrets to have never had a chance to tell you how much Iappreciated it. I know I am asking a lot by throwing the responsibilityof raising James on you but I know you can handle it. There’s strengthinside you and James will need to lean on it until he finds his own way.All my love,Sam========================================================================Lynn’s eyes were glistening when I finished. She said, “I don’t knowwhat I’m doing either but we will figure it out.”Neither of us spoke for a while as we ate.Finally Lynn asked, “Are you interested in going shopping after we dothe dishes? School starts soon and you need lots of new outfits. Youdefinitely need some new bras. We could even go to the sports store andfind you a pair of running shoes.”I gave a broad smile, “I’d really like that Lynn.”Epilogue (one month later)————————–The school yard was full and I tried not to notice the stares as I mademy way from the registrar’s office. I walked slowly as I was stillgetting the hang of heels but I was willing to take the risk even if afall now would undo my advantage. Two inch heels were more than Ishould have tried with a month’s practice but after a lifetime oflooking up to everyone I wanted to take every advantage available. Myskirt ended just above the knee and while I wasn’t exactly comfortablewith the attention my legs got, I had to admit, part of me liked it.The top I chose straddled the line of almost being too much but todaywas a special day.Lynn and I continued to measure every day after “The Change” but nothingwas as dramatic. After Day 14 the changes seemed to stop and Lynnfinally allowed me to buy some clothes instead of just trying on outfitafter outfit. In the end, I gained another five lbs of fat and it endedup in the places you’d expect. Lynn said my hips were about same sizeas hers. The truth was I looked a lot like a younger, blonder versionof her. My breasts weren’t as big but there was still time. Part of mehoped they had stopped as it was getting annoying as I ran that mysports bra got so much attention.Lynn dropped me off for my first day of school and the entire ride shegave me lots of pointers on the creepy teachers to avoid, the clubs tojoin, and the best make out spots where no one ever looked. I’d alwaysthought I’d known my sister but every day I’m learning that life isdifferent on the other side.I saw a familiar face and tried not to seem obvious as I veered in hisdirection. Some of the tricks Lynn taught me made everything easier tocope. I am the new k** in school after all. Everyone is interested inthe new girl. I tried not to laugh as I saw his eyes follow at myapproach. I found a spot to stand nearby and hoped it didn’t seem likeI was coming on to him. A girl has to protect her reputation after all.”Are you new here?”I gave him my best smile, “I just moved here and I don’t know anyone.””What class are you in?””I’m a junior.””Me too!”He held out his hand. “I’m Tim by the way.”I give him a shy smile and ran my fingers through my hair like Lynntaught though I figured that move would be a lot more effective when myhair was as long as hers. “I’m Samantha. Nice to meet you Tim.”Things got quiet and I could sense his desperation to keep theconversation going.”Do you play any sports?”I nodded. “I’m thinking about trying out for the cross country team.”His face brightened. “Me too! Well maybe. I’m not sure football isfor me anymore.”Tim smiled as he spoke and it made my heart race.I can’t explain it but things feel right. Before I met Sam I felt likeone of those shopping carts with a wobbly wheel. Anyone who’s ever beenin a grocery store knows what I’m talking about. Those carts are mostlyannoying like a buzz in the back of your mind but every once in a whilethe wobbly wheel gains traction and next thing you know you are about tocrash into something. That’s the way I felt before the change.Lynn has been great. We’ve talked about trying to figure a way to getMom & Dad back in our lives but it doesn’t seem possible just yet. Wehave agreed that just because my parents were jerks in Sam#1 and Sam#3’suniverse, it doesn’t mean our parents should have to suffer for it. Imiss them and I’m sure they miss us so we will let their actions dictateour relationship. Like Sam#3 said — this is my world. I can decidewhat to do in it. Lynn and I are doing ok for now and she even was ableto get her credits to transfer to a nearby college. She’s going therenext semester.Tim interrupted my thoughts, “Can I walk you to class?”I nod, hand him my books, and try to hide the proud smile from showingon face. Betsy doesn’t stand a chance.Thanks Sam. Thanks Samantha. I will never forget you. My mysticgodfather.

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