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Big Dicks

On Sunday night we got around to our homework. Carol the marriage counsellor had told us to spend some time having a cuddle with our pyjamas on this week. No sex, no kissing – just 20 minutes of awkwardness before going to sleep. We could have been reading or watching a show from NetFlix, the laptop balanced on our knees. Instead, I’m holding Wendy around her waist, trying to decide whether getting an erection is banned, encouraged or just irrelevant.

She’s obviously trying to decide whether I’ve got an erection because I want to fuck her, in spite of not wanting to, or just because I have a warm body clutched close to me for the first time in a while. We really haven’t done this much lately. Are we supposed to chat? Gaze into each others’ eyes?

We snuggle for a while. It’s hard to readjust your position, to try and balance your arm being squashed with the need for nearness, when both of you know that you are only this close because it’s your assignment.

“Did you enjoy that?”

“Mmm-hmm.” We’ve had moments of tenderness this week. Times at which passing a cup of coffee or a dishtowel has undeniably been done in a loving way. But we haven’t really talked about the therapy, and I really doubt that we’re about to now. Probably the kurtköy escort biggest step was made in Carol’s waiting room. That was when we both realized that we were prepared to do this. That both of us was at least going to try something to have us stay together and maybe feel like we both wanted it.

“Yeah.” A pause. “I did too.” It feels like we’re getting something ready to tell our teacher. Neither of us feels particularly relaxed or very intimate. But she’s obviously going to ask us how we felt afterwards, so we should at least get our stories straight and agree to use the words ‘relaxed’ and ‘intimate’.

“I feel kind of … relaxed now. Don’t you?” No answer. Wendy’s asleep.

5 minutes later I’m in the bathroon jerking off.

I stand in the middle of the mat and try not to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Wendy’s lying on her back in a clearing in the woods. We’re on holiday, camping in a national park and it’s ten years ago.

Young love back then. We hadn’t been together long, and this was our first real holiday as a couple. We borrowed bikes at the campsite each day and cycled off down random paths. Today we just couldn’t be bothered to cycle a couple of kilometers back to our tent to have sex, or we aydıntepe escort wanted to do it in the fresh air for the first time, or both. You used to love having your pussy licked back then and I loved doing it. We both lay on our coats, your thighs as open as the grassy bit of landscape we’re in, and I penetrated you with my tongue. It felt like we were there for hours before you casually pulled me up and got me to start fucking you.

The much older me, the one who knows about work and mortgages, and how to tell if you need a marriage counsellor, and how to find a good one, and why you should go if your wife tells you to, is standing pumping his cock in his fist and mentally looking over the shoulders of these two passionate twenty-somethings. I’m enjoying the reminiscences, but suddenly the scene in my mind changes.

It’s now nighttime, and the present day Wendy has her ass hanging half out of the tailgate of a car. We’re parked somewhere among some trees. Perhaps it’s the same spot in the national park? Or perhaps somewhere more familiar, some nook of the woods in our own suburb. Anyway, we’re obviously in a place that people come to fuck each other and be seen by each other. There are few cars parked here, some with their full tuzla içmeler escort beams on, and a bunch of men standing around taking a look at what we’re doing.

You’re wearing a kimono style robe, with your tits clearly visible and your ass completely uncovered. You’re lying in the trunk with your legs curled up and chained to your waist. There are handcuffs on your arms. I’m holding you by the hips and thrusting deep into your pussy from behind, standing on the floor by the back of the jeep.

Now I’m grabbing and pulling you hard back and forth. I’m holding your ass and getting ready to spank you. The other men are looking on. No, forming a queue. I’m watching one have his way with you, then the next. You’re being fucked hard. They’re coming in you. There’s sperm all over your ass.

I come and ejaculate all over the bathroom wall.

As I kneel on the floor and check behind the toilet bowl, wiping up any splashes of cum that I find, I wonder. I don’t usually fantasize like that. I often think about you, just as often about other women I’ve seen in real life or in porn. But the scenario I just came to isn’t the type I’ve thought about before. Public sex, bondage, roughness, sharing you like a fucktoy… Is the no-touching getting to me? Is it ok to be thinking things like this? Should I be trying to get you to do them? I grin at the idea of asking you to carry out my fantasy, and get on with making the bathroom clean and free of evidence so I can slip back into bed and fall asleep.

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