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Dildo Ride

The most dangerous hits are the ones that you don’t see coming. My freshmen football coach used to yell that over and over when he didn’t have anything else to say. I really never stopped to think about what that meant until six weeks ago, when my life changed forever in a way that I never saw coming, but let me start at the beginning.

A light rain was falling as I drove home to my apartment on the other side of campus. My mind was pulled in a thousand different directions between coach chewing my ass because I played like shit in Saturday’s game to the ten-page history paper I had to finish before getting on the bus Friday. I was so far inside my head that I didn’t even register the driver that ran the stoplight and slammed into my driver side door.

The next couple of days were a haze of pain meds and surgery to put my broken body back together. A titanium rod had been screwed into my upper leg to repair my broken femur, both of my wrists were being held together by a home improvement store worth of hardware, my brain had been scrambled, and three of my ribs had been cracked. That’s not to mention countless bumps and bruises and at least a couple dozen stitches. I was, as my Gran used to say, a hurting turtle.

When I finally came halfway out of my daze, I expected to be alone, so imagine my surprise when I looked over to see the sweetest smile in the world. “Mom? What are you doing here?”

“Well, I’ve spent the last two hours trying to get this very pretty nurse to share some of your drugs with me. I mean, you were asleep and obviously didn’t need them,” she answered.

I laughed at her obvious joke until I started to cough. It was the single most excruciating thing I had ever experienced in my entire life. It was worse than when I fell out of my tree house when I was in first grade, or when Becky Lynn Johnson kicked me in the balls in third grade. Not only that, but it was even worse than when Cheri Friland lied to me about being a virgin then gave me the chlamydia

“Let me go get the nurse to help you.” Mom nearly sprinted out the door, ignoring my attempt to wave her off. A minute later, a pretty young nurse, whose name I later learned was Lora, walked into the room carrying a vial and syringe.

“How would you rate your pain,” she asked.

“Like 9.75.”

“We’ll call that a 10.” She scanned my bracelet using one of those guns like they use in the grocery store before doing the same with a vial. “This is fentanyl, which is a strong pain medicine. The doctor ordered it for every six hours. If it’s not enough he also ordered a pain pill you can take every four hours.”

“Okay.” She filled a syringe and shot it straight into my IV. The pain seemed to start to melt away almost immediately until it was almost tolerable. I tried to stay awake to chat with Mom, but it was a lost cause.

When I woke back up it was night time and Mom sat in a folding chair reading a paperback.”Good book?”

“It’s fucking terrible.” I tried my best not to laugh. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been hit like a bus.” I tried to sit up and groaned in pain. “Fuck me!”

“Here.” Mom hit the call button and a minute later two techs were helping me carefully sit up in bed and retrieving a cup of ice chips for my parched throat. Once I was settled Mom laid her hand on my shoulder and looked down at my broken body, “Better?”

“I still feel like I’ve been hit by a fucking bus,” I answered.

“It was actually a Ford F-250, but the guy was driving fast enough that it might as well have been a bus.”

Finally somewhat awake I started to take inventory of my body. The pain was nearly unbearable but I could move my fingers. My right foot moved easily, but when I got to my left nothing happened. I began to panic and my heart rate shot up so high that an alarm sounded. “My leg! I can’t feel my leg!”

“Shhh, it’s alright.” Mom stroked my hair trying to calm me. “Between the accident and the surgeries you have nerve damage. The doctor says you’ll get feeling back with some time.”

“Is everything alright?” The nurse walked into the room, staring daggers at my mother. “You aren’t upsetting him, are you?”

“No this one’s on me,” I answered. “I got a little freaked out over not being able to feel my leg. Given how the rest of me feels that might be a good thing.”

The next few days were spent in a cycle of rehab, drugs, and pain. It seemed like there was constantly someone in and out of my room: physical therapist, occupational therapists, social workers, and psychologists. I honestly didn’t care who they were I just did what they asked me to do, so I could get out of the damn hospital. I was tired of grippy socks and assless gowns.

When the time to release me came, Mom and my doctors had a huge fight. They were insisting that I spend a few weeks in a local rehab facility, but Mom said that there was no way she was going home without her baby boy. Mom eventually won the argument, but then came the issue, we were in Pennsylvania and going güvenilir bahis to Wisconsin.

Normally I would just fly, but in a cast from my hip to my ankle that was completely out of the question. That meant renting the largest SUV the car place had and making the twelve-hour drive home. With a stash of snacks and a pain pill on board, off we went. I slept most of the time, but by the time we stopped, I was really starting to hurt. Using her special Mom spidey sense, she just knew how far I’d be able to go and got us a room at a nice hotel just outside of Indianapolis for a couple of nights, so I could rest.

The room that Mom got for us was huge, and I learned that it was because it was handicap accessible and was set up to give more room for a wheelchair, which was something I never thought I would ever need, but I was thankful for it that night. I was also thankful for the soft bed once we were able to get me into it, which was a challenge given how mom was 5’2 and a hundred pounds soaking wet, and I was 6’4 and two and a half bills.

Once I was finally settled she called and ordered us pizza and everything was great until for the first time since we left Pittsburgh my bladder screamed that it needed to be emptied. I knew that this was going to happen eventually, but I put it off as long as possible because I was not ready for Mom to have to help me take a piss.

“Do you need to tinkle?” She just smiled when I snarled at her. “I know you hate when I say that, but old habits die hard.”

“I kinda do, but I’m not sure how this is going to work.”

“Well, we’re going to do the best that we can to be mature about it, and I’m going to have to help you. How did they do it at the hospital?”

“They would sit the bed up and use the urinal thing,” I answered.

“Alright, let me go find it and grab some towels. I’d hate for one of these comfy beds to get wet.” She disappeared into the bathroom and came out with two thick bath towels and the plastic urinal that the hospital had sent home with us. “I guess we need to get your shorts off and the towels under your bottom.”

I could feel my face flush in embarrassment. This was not something that someone’s mother should be doing, and for the millionth time in my life I silently cursed my piece of shit father. “Mom, I don’t know if I…”

“Until we get home and get the home healthcare nurse coming to the house, you don’t have a choice, Patrick. It’s not like I haven’t seen what you have before, so lift up your butt.”

“Mom, I was like eight last time you saw what I have,” I protested.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” She gave me a sly grin. “I walked in on you having alone time more than once because you never locked your door and would wear earbuds. I also caught you with Laurie a couple of times.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, that girl was so loud, it was a wonder the neighbors didn’t call in a murder.” This time it was her turn to go red. “I knocked, but you couldn’t hear me over Lassie.”

“Lassie?”

Mom shook her head. “I have failed you as a parent. You’ve never seen Porky’s?”

“Umm, no. I’ve never even heard of Porky’s.”

“Well, that’s going to change.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled for a few seconds. “There we’ll have a copy waiting for us when we get home. Now lift up your bottom, so we can get this over with.”

I did what she said, and she put down the towels before pulling off my gym shorts. The cool air hit my most private parts, making me shiver all over. Carefully, she positioned me into the urinal without actually touching me before turning her head and letting me do my business as privately as possible. “Alright I’m done.”

“You’re bigger than your father.” She used one of the towels to dry me off and walked off to flush the contents of the jug. There was a knock at the door, and she just left me sitting there in all my glory while she paid for dinner. “I’m just going to pull the blanket over you, so we don’t have to mess with the shorts later, OK?”

“Whatever.” She even mentioning him left a sour taste in my mouth. “Why would you say that?”

“About your father? I thought you might like to know that you are a bigger man than him in one more way.” She gave me a weak smile. “I’m sorry if I upset you, sweetheart.

“It’s alright, Mom. I just hate being compared to him after what he did to you.”

“What he did to us, Patrick.” She laid her hand gently on my good leg. “What he did hurt you just as much as me. Probably more than it hurt me. You are a better man than he could ever be, in more ways than one.”

I don’t know why, but this time it made me laugh until it hurt. My poor ribs were still not healed and if I wasn’t careful, spending time with my Mom was going to kill me, because she always had a way of cracking me up. Even when the dark cloud that my father always seemed to be in my life, she was the ray of sunshine that made it go away. “Please don’t make me laugh, it still hurts.”

“Oh shit! Your ribs, I’m sorry.”

“It’s güvenilir bahis siteleri alright.” I was finally able to say after a coughing jag, “Let’s eat, so I can take a pill and try to get some sleep.”

I had to wake her three more times in the night to help me with the urinal. Finally, after the third, I said, “I think we should go ahead and go home in the morning.”

“Do you think you’ll be alright riding in a car for another day?”

“I’ll just take a pain pill and get through it.” It was my turn to give her a reassuring smile. “I love you, but I really don’t want you to have to help me take a piss for the next however many days.”

“Patrick, you know that I will do anything for you, but I have to admit that I’m not very fond of this either. So let’s get a few more hours sleep and then head for home.”

I tried to get back to sleep, but I couldn’t get comfortable. The feeling in my leg was starting to come back like the doctor said, and there were times when it felt like a thousand ants were marching between my toes and my hip. They gave me a pill that was supposed to keep that at bay, but about the best it did was make me drowsy. All the pills made me want to go to sleep, but I guess that beats being in pain.

I took an extra pain pill before we left and another one somewhere in Illinois, and somehow made it all the way home. Mom helped me out of the truck and I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the huge hand painted banner across the front porch, which I had no doubt was done by cousin Nora. She was the artist of the family, and good enough that she was going to be going to art school in Chicago the next fall.

“I’m sure you can guess that Nora made the banner,” Mom said. “Uncle Roger and Rusty built the ramp, so we can get you in and out of the house easier.”

“I hate that I’m causing so much trouble for everyone.”

“We’re all just happy to have you home and safe, Patrick.” I climbed down out of the back of the SUV and into the wheelchair. It was difficult after being stuck in the back of the SUV for so long, but with Mom’s help I was finally able to manage. “Aunt Kat has set up my office for you for the time being. I don’t really use it much now that I have a laptop.”

The inside of the house hadn’t changed at all since the last time I was home two and a half years ago. I hated that I had been gone so long, but I had to stay at school over the summer for workouts and I missed the previous Christmas because of bowl practices. Coming back wrapped in plaster was one bitch of a homecoming.

Mom wheeled me into the office, and I was amazed at how much work Aunt Kat had done. Mom’s old PC and desk were gone and replaced by an extra wide hospital bed and a 65″ TV. There wasn’t much I was going to be able to do for the next few weeks besides watch television, so I was glad to see it.

“Wow, Kat didn’t tell me about the TV. You really are her favorite nephew,” Mom said.

“I’m her only nephew.”

“Which makes you her favorite.” Mom playfully smacked me on the shoulder, making me wince. “Oh shit! Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.” I lied, but couldn’t stand to see my Mom upset. “I just need to take my meds and get into bed.”

“Do you want something to eat? I’m not sure what we have, but I can find something for you.”

“No, thank you. I really would just like to get some sleep.”

She helped me into bed and went to get me a bottle of water to wash down my pills. I had tried not to eat or drink much all day to avoid the embarrassment of the night before, but I had to take a piss before I could go to sleep. Always a trooper, Mom helped me out without even making any jokes. Laughing still hurt, and honestly it just made the situation feel even more awkward.

“The home healthcare nurse will be here at seven tomorrow, and I’m going to go into the office for a few hours. I might be gone before you wake up, but please call me if you need anything.”

She gave me a kiss on the forehead and went off to bed. I laid there staring at the ceiling for the next hour and wondering what I had done to deserve this. The social worker at the hospital had warned me that it would be easy to get depressed over the next few weeks and even suggested that I might want to find someone to talk to, but how in the fuck was I supposed to do that when I was cooped up in this bed for God only knows how long.

I finally fell asleep and was woken up by a knock on the door and in walked in a guy that was built like a linebacker and wearing scrubs. “Hey Patrick, I’m Will, I’m going to be hanging out with you today.”

“You’re Will Stone.” I was somewhat shocked to see him. “You played defensive end at Central, right?”

“Yeah, how did you know that?”

“I was a freshman when you were a senior,” I answered. “I thought you went to State on scholarship?”

“I did.” He took a seat in Mom’s desk chair. “I had to give it up after my third concussion. I never got to play a down, but they paid for me to finish my degree. iddaa siteleri I met some really great nurses towards the end of my granddad’s life, so I decided that was what I wanted to do.”

“That’s awesome, man.” I gave him the first genuine smile that I had since the accident. “I guess I’m glad that you did, since you’re here now. I was getting tired of my Mom seeing my dick all the time.”

He chuckled. “I talked to your mom for a few minutes before she left. She seems pretty cool and just wants you to be taken care of. I’m going to help you out with some really embarrassing stuff, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”

“I’m just doing my job.” He began to take my vital signs. “You were playing at North Central Penn, right?”

“Yeah, I was getting a bit of playing time at Edge,” I answered.

“I watched you against Michigan in the Frog Bowl last year. You had a hell of a game against one of the best tackles in the country. I should know, he was a grad transfer from State and used to kick my ass every single day in practice.”

“Let me guess, he gave you one of those concussions, punching you in the face mask.”

Will just nodded with a frown on his face. “Two of them.”

“I figured. The son of a bitch was probably the dirtiest player in college football, but that was part of what made him so good.”

“Yeah, but that shit hasn’t been flying in The League. He’s been called for an unsportsmanlike in I think every single game. I think Memphis might be dreading drafting him so high and paying him all of that money.”

“He might be dirty, but I would like to see him wearing the Orange and Black.”

“You would really want him to be on the Hogs?” Will sounded absolutely shocked by this. “With their inability to throw the ball, he’d cost them three wins a year with those penalties.”

“I think he would be worth even more wins by finally having someone capable of blocking Jones’ blindside. Lord knows that Willis can’t anymore, I mean I could beat Willis’ ancient ass”

Will chuckled. “Yeah, but you bested Thomas a couple of times in the bowl. I mean, you had what, a sack and a half?”

“Only a sack, they didn’t credit me with the assist. They also somehow missed my batted ball, but none of that really matters now.”

“Patrick, I’m going to do my best to take care of you the next few weeks, and I know all the physical therapists around here, and they’re some of the best you can find anywhere. They’re way better than anyone I worked with while I was at State.”

“Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Will, but I’m not planning on ever being able to play again. I just want to be able to walk.”

“All I can say is work your ass off like you’re in football camp, and you might just be surprised at what happens. Now what do you say, we get cleaned, and your mom told me she left you something special for breakfast.”

The next two weeks were pretty much the same, with either Will or another nurse named Sam spending twelve hours a day with me. They helped me bath and take care of all the other personal needs that I was too embarrassed to let Mom take care of. Then one day out of nowhere, Mom got a call from the health insurance company saying that they would no longer pay for home healthcare, and I would need to check into a rehab facility.

Mom being Mom, she refused to send me anywhere. She spent that entire time blowing up the phones at the car insurance company and getting absolutely nowhere. So Mom was making plans to take more time off of work when my cousin Julia called and volunteered to sit with me.

I’ll admit that when Mom told me that, I was excited for the first time since the accident, because growing Jules was my best friend. Just a year apart in school, we ran with the same friends group and were involved in the same activities. I played football on Friday nights and she was a cheerleader. We showed cows that we raised on her farm side by side at the county fair every year. I even took her best friend Samantha to my junior prom. I had to admit that as happy as I was to see her, I wasn’t too happy about her helping me out.

It was bright and early on that Monday morning when she walked into my room, and I hardly recognized her. She had always been pretty, but college had been good to her. She was absolutely beautiful. Her raven hair that she had always kept short all through school was now down to her shoulders and streaked with blue. Her nose was now pierced with a cute little heart shaped stud and tattoos on both wrists. The thing that stood out the most was that she had definitely put on the freshmen fifteen in all the right places.

“Paddy!” She ran over and gave me a big hug, pressing her tits against me. It had been a month since I had been able to jerk off and as much as I hated to admit it, I was starting to get hard. “What in the hell have you done to yourself?”

“I didn’t do shit to myself, Jules,” I snapped. “Some drunk asshole ran a fucking stop light and did this to me. Can you believe the prick didn’t even get a single injury?”

“Wow, someone is bitchy this morning.” She flopped down in the desk chair. “You used to be the one to yell at me when I got on the bus in a bad mood.”

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