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I came walking out of the store carrying a paper sack full of toys and some odds and ends I was hoping my granddaughters would like.

They had both carefully written down a long list of all the things they wanted, although some of it I didn’t have a clue what the hell they even were.

Kids nowadays, what is up with them? Black lipstick, black nail polish, red eyeliner, funny looking long black outfits with silver chains? We never did anything screwy like that when I was a kid, maybe stand around with our pants cuffs rolled up and a smoke glued to our lower lip.

Well, there was the duck’s ass haircuts and minor stuff like that but black lipstick?

I hate shopping, when my wife of nearly 25 years was alive she always did that. Oh, a few times she actually managed to get me in a store pushing a cart but finally she realized just how miserable that made me and gave up.

Now except for holidays or birthdays the only shopping I ever did now was for paper plates and cheap utensils, I hated doing dishes, too. My cooking pans are almost always new, too. One batch of noodles with cheese and into the trash they go, screw scrubbing them. Less than $10 and I can get a whole set of those Chinese ones.

I liked those frozen dinners, too. Pop them in the microwave and eat, pitch the rest, end of any problems.

I wouldn’t have noticed the woman standing there except she had her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face, and she was smack dab in my way.

“Just where did you learn to park, mister?” She demanded, her head doing that odd bobbing back and forth thing African American folks do when they are upset about something.

I came to a screeching halt, surprised. She was wearing black slacks and a heavy sweater, she looked a bit on the big side.

“Uhhh..what do you mean?” I asked her, confused.

She pointed at my truck, it was sitting a good six inches over the white line, there was no way she could open her driver’s side door. I glanced over and her passenger side door was open, she had obviously climbed over the seat and out that side. Her car was some tiny little thing that looked like every other car out there, I had a vision of her climbing across over the gearshift lever.

When I parked, I had given the car on my driver’s side some extra room, my full size truck was pretty big and I swear they are making parking spots smaller all the time.

“Sorry, miss. I will move it.” I told her, wanting to get by to set my things in my rig. She didn’t seem too pleased with me, I went around and stuffed the bags in my truck and left. I looked up in the mirror, she was still standing there with her hands on her hips as I drove off.

I had more things to get, so the next day I drove back down to the store. I carefully centered my truck, managed to struggle out without jamming the door into the car next to me. I shut the door and turned, there she stood again, looking at me.

“That’s better!” She said. She didn’t seem mad today. I noticed she was on the pretty side, but she still looked a bit big.

I shook my head and promptly forgot about it, heading into the store to get some more toys. I also went over to the frozen foods section, grabbed a couple of dozen TV dinners and a frozen pizza that actually looked edible.

“That stuff will kill you, why don’t you buy some real food?” I heard from behind me.

I turned, there she stood with a shopping cart, a cute little boy sat in it, his legs hanging out the back. He looked at me and grinned, then stuck his thumb in his mouth.

I blushed, managed to stammer something about not cooking very well and this made it easy. I looked at her cart, she had fruits and fresh vegetables, some fresh baked bread and some kind of huge vegetable that looked like a person might use at Halloween to decorate their porch.

“Butter Squash.” She said, seeing my glance.

Curious, I asked her what she did with it, since I had no idea at all. I had seen those things in the stores but never bought one. I could see no way to cook one of them, anyway.

The next 10 minutes was a series of recipes, she told me how to slice it, season it, how to cook it, even what temperature to use as I stood there and listened politely. Then she went into how to make a batter, right down to each seasoning and how much.

I listened, trying to be polite.

She picked one up, put it in my cart and told me to give it a try. Next she picked up the pizza, gave me a sidelong look, put it back in the freezer. She shook her head no and went on down the row.

Good grief.

I went and got into line to check out, she was right behind me.

“You men! You are all the same. Are you really going to eat that thing?” She asked, looking at the pizza I had retrieved when she was out of sight.

“Yea! I am!” I told her, starting to get upset. This chubby black lady seemed to be everywhere. She sniffed but didn’t say anything, but she did grin when the clerk weighed the damn squash.

“You will like that, I like it best Ümraniye Escort baked with brown sugar.” I just nodded, thinking it might look all right as a decoration on my porch.

I started my truck, sat there for a few minutes looking at the front page of a newspaper I had bought. It was the usual, the world was ending, Arabs were shooting rockets off at each other and then there was a big headline about that Simpson guy. I put the truck in gear and pulled out onto the highway.

I made it almost a block, I hit a bump and the sack with that stupid squash fell over. I reached over to grab it when out of the corner of my eye a little car pulled right out in front of me from the parking lot. I got a glimpse of the driver looking over her right shoulder as I locked up the brakes and spun the wheel, way too late.

I nailed her left front fender, knocking her sideways several feet. Her horn jammed on, steam started coming out. I got out and ran over to the little car.

Yep. Same woman, she looked frightened. I checked the kid sitting snugly in a car seat in the back, he was giggling like that was fun and he wanted to do it again. I reached in the rear passenger side and unclipped him, tucked him under my arm in case of a fire or something. I tried to open her door but it was stuck, with the kid under one arm I couldn’t pull hard enough to get it open.

I finally got her door unjammed and got her out. She seemed to be just fine, although rattled. She reached out and grabbed the little boy, hugging him to her chest.

“We have to quit meeting like this.” I wisecracked. She just looked at me. I figured she didn’t see any humor in the situation.

We exchanged information, I found her name was Tania. I checked out her car and it was not drivable. My truck was unmarked, it had a huge steel bumper with a winch on the front. That combined with my big 36″ tires had put the top of her fender halfway across the hood.

She apologized all over the place, I went back to my truck, the sack with the squash in it had hit the floorboards and it was smashed. I started laughing, for some reason that was funny.

“Want a ride someplace?” I asked her.

“Sure.” She gathered up her kid, we snugged him down in the crew cab section. She saw the squash on the floor as she was getting in, started picking up the pieces.

“I am really sorry.” She said.

“Nobody hurt, it’s no big deal.” She gave me directions, I drove her home, then went on to my house.

I called my insurance agent, let them deal with things, I thought. The phone rang almost the second I hung it up.

It was Tania. I was beginning to think we were becoming attached, either I was in her way or she was in mine, or I was running over her, what was up with that?

“I wanted to apologize, I am really sorry.” She told me.

“It’s OK, my truck isn’t hurt, I am sorry about your car though.”

“Oh, they will just get me another one, I have good insurance since it was brand new.”

I felt a little better at that.

“Anyway, I wanted to ask you to come over for a nice dinner, I want to make it up to you.”

“There isn’t anything to make up for.” I told her.

“It will make me feel better. Please?” She asked.

What the hell, I said OK. I can’t say I was really looking forward to that much, it would probably be another lecture on what not to eat.

Besides, I am white and nearly 60, she was maybe 30 and black. I don’t think I am prejudiced or anything but I just had never really been around black people much.

But I said OK, she gave me a time. One thing about me is that I am always on time, if fact I arrived nearly 20 minutes early. I parked and picked up my newspaper to kill some minutes, I no more than got it open and she was knocking on my window.

“Hey, don’t sit out here, come on in!” She was smiling. I got out and followed her inside. She had on a white and green striped dress, somehow she didn’t look quite so big in that outfit.

Her kid was on the floor trying his best to break some toys, he looked up at me with big eyes and instantly stuck his thumb in his mouth.

“This is Zack, my little boy.” She grinned, almost like she was showing off a treasure. I guess she was from her point of view. I looked around, her house was modest but neat and clean.

She showed me to a big easy chair, in seconds I had a lap full of Zack. He was apparently just learning to talk, he sat there and started yapping away, half of it was nonsense but a few words made sense.

It was cute, actually, we played with his toys while Tania brought me a drink. I sipped it, it tasted funny.

“Papaya juice.” She grinned at me.

“It’s good for you.”

Oh, yum yum. I managed to get some of it down, it actually wasn’t too bad. I made a mental note to buy some and try it with a dab of vodka.

Tania got the meal ready, we sat in her dining room as she served up some funny looking stuff I realized was that Banana squash. There was what looked like some Anadolu Yakası Escort kind of fish, I tried it and it was good.

“Dover Sole.” She told me before I could ask. “This is baked Banana squash. I put some brown sugar and cinnamon on it.”

I ate with relish, I had to admit that it was sure a hell of a lot better than microwaved frozen dinners.

Later we sat in her living room and talked. She served some kind of red juice that I think was Cranberry but I am not sure. I was thinking it needed a shot of vodka, too.

She asked me what I did for a living.

“TV critic.” I told her. She blinked at that.

“Really?” She asked.

“Yea, Judge Judy makes a decision and I gripe at the TV set.” I laughed. She found that funny as hell for some reason.

I left that night feeling pretty good, my tummy was nice and full and Tania seemed to laugh at every wisecrack I made, no matter how lame. I actually had one heck of a good time.

I went to bed that night, woke up around 3 in the morning right on schedule, a dream about her clear in my mind. It took me a bit to get my woodie to go down so I could dribble a bit, the dream had been on the naughty side. Waking up with a hard on was on the rare side for me.

A couple of days went by, for some reason I kept thinking about Tania. I am not sure why, I had long since given up any thought of females, at least any thought of actual intimacy, anyway.

Saturday came, I was outside puttering around in my yard. I actually do have a lawnmower but I could handle my lawn with a pair of clippers in 10 minutes so most of the time it won’t start. I went inside to get my electric weed string cutter to make short work of my lawn, noticed the phone light was blinking.

I figured it was my daughter in law since she usually called Saturday mornings, so I ignored it. I got the grass cut, then poured myself a snort of Vodka to celebrate a good day’s work.

The light was still blinking, I pushed the button. I didn’t recognize the number, so I started to head for the kitchen and then it hit me it was Tania’s number.

I picked up and dialed.

I got a message machine that told me to leave my name and number at the tone, damn I hate those things. What the hell is the point of even having a damn phone if you are never going to answer it?

Oh, well. I got one of those things too. I went and got my paper and headed for the john. Of course the phone started ringing about the time I got settled in, I just let it ring. It sometimes takes me a good 10 minutes to take a leak, and by God once I get it started I sure as hell am not going to stop.

I finished up and went in and checked the machine, it was Tania again. I called back and her soft voice answered.

“Hi, Danny.”

“Afternoon. What’s up?” I asked her.

“I was thinking maybe you would like to join Zack and me tomorrow for church.”


“Yes, we sing songs and after the sermon we have a potluck. You won’t have to bring anything, I will make something.”

Hell, she had a hopeful tone in her voice. But Church? Me?

“I haven’t been in a…..”

“Exactly why you need to go, Danny! Besides, it’s fun.”

There is no way in HELL I am going to go to any Church, I thought.

“OK.” I said.

Dammit, now I had to do some laundry. The only clothes I ever washed were my blue jeans and shirts. I went in and dug around in the pile, finally said the hell with it then got in my truck and went down to the store and bought a pair of slacks and a nice shirt.

Tania showed up right on time, her new car looked just like the old one except this one was blue. I managed to fold my six foot frame into it, once I got the seat all the way back I actually had room for my legs.

She was dressed in a pinkish and tan skirt and blouse, it seemed to change color slightly when she moved. There was a flower in her hair, and she had rolled her hair into a bun. She actually looked pretty nice, she had long curls hanging down each side of her face. I looked at her, I am sure she had makeup on but it was hard to tell, she just looked…kinda pretty?

We pulled up and parked at a small white building, went inside. I managed to keep a straight face, there was a sea of black faces and they all turned to look at me. I don’t know what I expected, but I was thinking that I sure as hell didn’t fit in with this crowd.

The next thing I knew a songbook was shoved into my hands and everyone was singing. I have to admit I had never heard any of the songs before, but I tried.

My singing voice is best described as a cross between a Bullfrog and a mad Elephant, but I tried. Everyone was swaying and bouncing around, then I got into it and pretty soon I was doing it too.

The preacher got up there, he had on a long robe and within a few minutes he was sweating and carrying on. I managed to get about half of it, too. Then there were more songs, I started to get into it again and soon I was having fun.

My İstanbul Escort voice booming out got a few glances and a big grin from Tania. Zack sat there with his thumb in his mouth the whole time.

Later it was food, good lord the food! I ate until I couldn’t eat any more. At one time or another nearly everyone there came up to shake my hand and tell me I was welcome.

I almost forgot the fact that I was white, but my gray hair and white face had to stick out like a sore thumb. Nobody seemed to notice or care and in short order, I didn’t either. Even the preacher came over and shook my hand and told me I was welcome, he called me brother.

Tania drove us back to her house, I was almost asleep even though the drive was short. Zack was out for the rest of the day, his thumb still stuck firmly in his mouth. Tania picked him up and told me to come on in, I followed along inside and sat down as she tucked him away.

“So? How did you like that?” She asked me as she sat down in the chair across from me.

“Well, I have to admit it was different, and I had fun.”

Then I heard a coffee pot finishing up, I hadn’t even seen her start it. She hopped up and poured a couple of cups, brought me one. We had another long visit, talking about everything under the Sun. I found out she was a nurse. Her husband had been in the military, and sadly was one of those that didn’t come home. She listened with interest as I told her about my long marriage, our son and the grand girls.

I finally looked at my watch, realized it was way after dark. This had been one long day and my eyes were getting heavy.

“I think maybe it is time I got home.” I told her.

“Why don’t you just stay here? Zack is asleep and I don’t want to wake him.”

That surprised me.

“I…uhhh…I suppose…where would I sleep?” I asked, looking around.

“With me, silly. I have a king size bed, there is lots of room.” She grinned at me.

I guess I probably blushed. I know I blinked. I barely knew this lady, and she was hinting….or was she?

“Sleep? With you?”

“Well, if that’s all you want to do.”

I just looked at her.

“Come on.” She got up, reached for my hand. I took it, followed meekly into her bedroom. She was right about the bed, it was huge. I sat on the edge of it, still not completely sure of myself.

In the thirty years of marriage to my college sweetheart, our life was one of those perfectly normal ones. I had never strayed, no reason or even inclination to. Now here I was sitting on the edge of a huge bed with a woman, and a black one at that?

My confidence wasn’t exactly at it’s all time high.

“Do you sleep in your underwear, or do you prefer pajamas? I have a new set that I think will fit you.” She said, as she slipped her dress over her head.

I looked at her in the dim light, she stood there waiting for my answer wearing a dark bra and underpants.

“Usually just my undershorts.” I told her.

“Me, too.” Tania reached back and tripped the bra, her heavy chocolate breasts were suddenly swinging free, her oversize nipples black as coal. I looked at her as I reached for the buttons on my shirt. Her body was full, her large hips flared out. She wasn’t fat, she was just large. I could see a bulge at the crotch of her panties, I could barely make out the darker shadow of her mass of pubic hair.

“I am going to catch a quick shower.” She smiled at me.

“OK. I guess I should take one, too.”

She grinned at that, I could see her expression in the only light coming in from outside, she seemed amused.

“Come on then.” She said, turning for the bathroom off to the side. I put my shirt on a chair, slipped my slacks off and followed. She was adjusting the water temperature in the shower stall as I stepped in, the lights were bright in there. She turned to me, stepped up close and tipped her head up for a kiss. I took her in my arms and kissed her.

We were like that for a long time, I was enjoying the feeling of her big soft breasts pressed against my chest. Then she stepped back, hooked her thumbs in her panties and slid them down and off. I stripped mine down, too. Her fingers searched for me, she lifted my testicles, then stroked upwards over me. I had managed to erect half way but her touch was electric, I stood to full attention in seconds. In the back of my mind I could hear the water running.

I was over being bashful. It did pop into my head that black guys are….well, big? And I was…well, I thought my 7 inches was adequate up until this very moment.

Tania stepped into the shower, I slipped in with her. It was a bit of a tight fit but we managed. She soaped me up from top to bottom and I did the same to her. Then we swapped positions to rinse off. She shut off the water and pulled a couple of towels out of the closet.

She was looking me up and down as we dried off, then she turned and went back into the bedroom.

“Do you prefer the lights off or would you like a night light?” She asked me.

“I want the lights on, I want to see you!” I told her. I was completely turned on now.

“Me, too!” She grinned, reaching over and turning on the lamp by the bed. Then she turned and looked me up and down, that same interested and curious expression on her face..

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